GRUNGE AESTHETIC // phan

09 - FUNERAL

based on a true experience

something new this chapter - enjoy

NOVEMBER 23RD, 2015

DEAR DANIEL, 

Do you remember the day of the funeral for Cat? Only her mom, brother, and the pastor were there. You, Chris and I stood outside until her mom gestured for us to come inside the church. 

I was scared. If anyone had found out I had killed her, we were dead. For real, this time. 

"I wanted to thank you for being such kind friends to Catherine. She truly loved you both." Her mother said, her tears threatening to spill over her bad eyeliner. 

It takes all of my willpower not to scoff. I steal a glance at you, fidgeting under Cat's mom's wavering eye, the hickeys on your neck looked fresh. The black dress shirt looked wrinkled and your pants were just black jeans with holes in the knees. 

Christ starts talking to Cat's mother. The mosaic on the church's walls glaze over with sunlight and harshly hit your face. Your eyes turn hazel brown. I control my breathing. 

You looking fucking hot. Hotter than all the sun's combined and if they all would look at you in this moment, they'd all melt to the floor and buy you blue crystal wedding rings, and you'd say you prefer the plastic one.

I just hope I'm the plastic one, Daniel. I really hope so. 

I reach inside the pocket of my leather jacket and check for the small plastic flower ring Cat had given me when we first met. I bought another one just like it, but Cat deserves the first one. 

I take your hand and we leave Chris and Cat's mother and we walk down the aisle - not in the way I hoped - to Cat's casket. Our steps grew heavier every moment closer to her eternally sleeping body.

Sleepwalking from Bring Me The Horizon starts to play softly, her all time favorite song. We both put our black boots on the first step and we go up together, seconds seemed to slow down, your breathing grew softer than the music playing. 

Cat's hair was dyed blonde, close to the colour it was before it was streaked with pink. She was wearing a black dress and her chapped lips and scarred face was covered in makeup. She looked like she used to. Under all that foundation and eyeshadow though, you and I both saw the girl she was before. 

Phil takes a breath. 

"Hey, this is my friend Zoey," I say to Dan. He smiles brightly at her. 

"Hi! Can I call you Zo?" 

 "Sure," Zoey laughs, her pink hair twirling around. 

 "So I was thinking we watch that new movie that came out?"

 "The Avengers? Doesn't look very promising." Dan says. 

 "Oh please Dan, I bet you still have some of their old comics from the 90's." 

 Dan inches closer to me, "Phil, how much did you tell her about me?" 

 I grin, "Not much." He gives me a sharp look then notices something behind Zo. 

 "Hey, Zo, c'mere." He says, taking her hand and pulling her behind him and I. "I think I saw something."

 "Probably wasn't smart for us to be hiding behind a fucking movie theater at midnight, Dan." I mutter in his ear. He kisses me quick, biting my lip. 

 "Hello?" He calls out softly. A female voice calls out. "Hello,"

 "Are you alright?" His hand inches to the pocketknife he keeps in his pocket. "Can you come into the light?"

 A girl, probably our age, takes a step into the moonlight in the middle of the alley. She had scars all over her face and neck, and judging by the look of them she probably had them all over her body as well. Her silver hair looked dull, and her lips were stained red. Zo moves closer to me, I hold my arm out to shield her. 

"I'm Cat," She takes out a long knife. "And you're dead,"

Phil shakes his head, he was just remembering things he shouldn't. "Get back to work," He whispers to himself. 

You kiss my neck and put a single red rose beside her body. "Rest in peace, Cat." 

I manage a smile and take Cat's cold hand and slip the plastic ring onto her middle finger - the one connected to her dead heart. 

"Happy Birthday to me, yeah? Sleep tight." 

And he and I walk out of the church, never seeing Cat's mother or the city again.