Bad Things

The Kiss

Kenny PoV

I leaned in and...

.

.

.

I chickened out last second, Craig's face going red. He quickly went inside, leaving me in front of his house with his hat and a few problems.

"Fuck!" I yelled into the open air, kicking at the snow around me. I wasn't mad at Craig or anyone else, just myself. I don't like Tucker. I can't. I'm not gay, he's not gay, no one is gay...

So why am I sad we didn't actually kiss?

For fear of making things even more awkward, I just sat on the front steps so when Mrs. T came home I could give her Craig's hat instead of trying to face him again.

Craig PoV

That was insane... my heart's never beat so loudly. I can feel it in my chest... Kenny McCormick almost kissed me! But he didn't so why am I freaking out? Maybe it was an accident and he didn't mean to even come close to my lips... yeah that's probably right.

Who am I kidding, I can't even think straight. My brain's jogging circles around thoughts of Kenny and... what he could do to me... Everything about him. His smell like a fresh campfire and the first rains on pavement, his sky blue eyes like the perfect cloudless day, his blonde hair like a golden haybale... it looks like it might hurt to touch but I bet it's the softest thing in the world. In my head I can just imagine what it would be like to sit on a balcony or rooftop in his arms, sharing a cigarette between us as we either talked about nothing or kept a comfortable silence.

I sank down against the front door, sitting on the floor with my back on the door, knowing I could sit there alone until mom came home and I would be able to hear her car and move before she saw me. I sighed, running my hand through my exposed hair. It was getting long... I just never noticed since I rarely take my hat off... and no one is allowed to touch it. "Dammit McCormick... what did you do to me..." I heard a small sound like someone leaning on the other side of the door but I figured it was a stray dog or something so I paid no attention to it, talking to myself. "Get a hold of yourself, Craig... get him out of your mind..." My thoughts screamed Out of my mind and into my arms but I refused to say it out loud. "He doesn't like you... no one does..." It hurt me to say it even to myself, but it was my truth.

"Don't be so hard on yourself, Tucker..." I heard a soft voice from the other side of the door after a bit of silence. A voice unmistakably his.

Kenny PoV (again, sorry)

I couldn't help myself. I told myself to be quiet but he sounded so hurt... I hated it. I usually don't care about others suffering - Hell, I'm the cause half the time - but this most likely was from me and I hated it. I felt bad about listening but I think he needed to talk.

"....Kenny?"

"Heh... sorry 'bout listening..." He didn't respond but I could hear his soft breathing... he was still there. Right next to me.... and that made me feel something I hadn't felt in a long time.

I looked up as Mrs. Tucker's car pulled into the driveway hours earlier than it should, the snow starting to fall harder. She looked at me. "Blizzard.... already covering half the town."

"...I should go home then...."

"No, it's not safe. Come inside and stay the night. We can fix you up a spare floor or you can sleep with Craig." At my blush she rephrased it, saying "Sleep next to Craig. In his room." and laughed, going up to the door and unlocking it, pulling me inside before I could protest.

Inside was so warm... so much better than outside. Mrs. T didn't mention my wearing Craig's hat, turning on the heater and starting on dinner. She told me to go find Craig and tell him about the blizzard and that I was staying the night so I headed straight for his room... the long way and walking slowly. I didn't want to approach him too quickly, scared I might frighten him... more scared of his emotions and my emotions 'cuz I dunno what's wrong with me but I think my heart may beat a little faster at the sound of his voice or mention of his name. I wouldn't say I love him or even like him... but I definitely think about him a lot. 

He's a good friend. Friend.

I got to his room eventually, the door open so I looked in. I could see him on the floor looking at my name etched into the wall, gently tracing the letters with his fingertips. I couldn't help myself but chuckle at the way the bed had dented the wall so perfectly, Stan's name broken and Cartmen's utterly destroyed, Kyle's unreadable from the fissures in the wall dent. He looked up at my laugh and stared at me through the 2 inch crack between the door and the frame - holding eye contact for what felt like an eternity before he quietly said... "what the fuck are you doing?"

AN: Hey! I know it's been like an eternity since I wrote in this so I tried to make it a longer chapter - it's over 900 words... I hope it suffices as a temporary apology but I've been hella busy cuz high school and what not but I'm back and I'll try to keep updating this as frequently as possible!!

I love reading your comments      ~Jaysen