Yours // Rain

12: I'm sorry

Nordan and Lucas were sitting on the couch while Callie was playing with her toys. She picked up the Toy Story Jessie doll I bought her and showed it to them. "This is Jessie, she's my favorite," she turned the doll to herself and had a serious look on her face, "she comes to life when I'm not around."

I stared at my baby weirdly. She's a strange child and I will never understand why she's like that. Probably from Nordan's side.

I walked over to them and sat down next to Nordan. "Baby. You're strange." I stared at her with a smile on my face.

"I know mommy. But it makes me great!" She played with the rest of her Toy Story dolls and the three of us just watched her.

"Can we talk?" He whispered in my ear. I nodded and stood up. He followed me, I checked to see what Callie was doing.

"Lucas." I called. He turned to look at me and I made the 'watch her' motion with my hands. He nodded and got down on the floor to play with her.

I led Nordan to my bedroom and closed the door. "What did you wanna talk about?" He sat on my bed and stared at me.

"I'm sorry." He put his head in his hands and his voice cracked.

"What?" I asked. I didn't know what he was apologizing for. He didn't need to apologize for anything.

"I'm sorry." His voice was a bit louder. He looked up at me and his eyes were red. Tears were streaming down his face slowly.

I went and kneeled in front of him. I grabbed his hands in mine. "You have no reason to be sorry. I left. I didn't even give you a chance to meet her. You have no need to be sorry. I'm sorry for being a horrible person and not letting you meet your daughter."

He looked up from the floor to me. He stood up and pulled me up with him. He was still crying and I had no idea how I was supposed to calm him down. It was my fault and I couldn't help but tear up.

I started fiddling with his hands like I used to when I didn't know what to do. He let go of my hands and pulled me to him. One arm draped around my neck and the other around my back. He placed his head on my shoulder and cried. I put my arms around him as best as possible and let him cry.

Somehow we ended up on the bed. He fell asleep with his head laying on my stomach and I was just messing with his hair. "I'm sorry." I whispered.

There was a slight knock on the door and Lucas came in. "Hey. Can Callie and I go to the park?" He asked quietly. I nodded.

"Go ahead. Have fun and be safe." I waved to him and he left the room.

.

"I'm picking the game this time." I couldn't see who was talking. The room was crowded. I recognized the place as an arcade that Nordan and I used to go to when we were younger. It wasn't long before I saw myself and Nordan walk past me.

"What?" I asked myself.

"Fine." I saw my teenage self drag my then-boyfriend to a game I really wanted to play. I followed them-me-us doing my best not to bump into anyone on my way. I stopped in front of a zombie game.

"If I wanted to play zombies we could've played at home? Not out here." Nordan said to me.

Throughout all the people talking. I could only hear my younger self and Nordan's voices. They were clear as day. Like I had headphones only plugged in to hear their voices.

"You need to get out of the house. I understand FaZe is amazing and all. But come on." Younger me nudged him to pay it and then we began playing. Nordan of course winning.

"Obviously." I rolled my eyes.