Loki x reader

Little Insecurities

The above dress is your emerald green dress with silver accents.

Also, sorry for the crappy story. Today was the first time I've actually had any sort of actual insecurity about how I looked. I cried behind the piano several times during my band practice. Also, I don't think my crush that I've liked for 2 years likes me at all... I feel like crap... Also, I've figured out it's literal love sickness, probably from fear of rejection.

your POV

I wake up the next morning. I felt crappy. My head felt fine, my throat was perfect, my abdomen and stomach didn't hurt at all. No, I felt crappy for a different reason. I was feeling insecure. I mean, it's no wonder Loki never liked me. I'm hideous as hell. I needed to feel beautiful, since I hadn't for the past few days, even though I knew I could never truly be beautiful. I go to my closet, and pick out my green dress with the silver accents. I put it on, but I can't lace it up. I call Natasha on my cell. She picks up. "Hey, (y/n). Do you need something? I thought you were still in your room?" She says, questioningly.

"Yeah, I am. I feel hideous, Natasha. I mean, it's no wonder Loki never noticed me, I look like a walking pile of trash compared to him." I say, no hesitation in my voice. Natasha had never heard me like this.

"(y/n), what are you talking about? Hold on, I'll be right there." She says, hanging up on me. I hear a knock at the door, and I open it to where she can't see what I'm wearing. She comes in, eyes widening at my attire. "Um, you know that's not really appropriate for New York on planet Earth?" She says. I laugh.

"Oh, I know. I'm going to visit Asgard, and bring a picnic. Feel free to join me, if you want. I have the perfect dress for you, too!" I say, grinning brightly.

"I'd love to go! Here, let me help you with your dress, then you can help me with mine. Then I can do your hair, and you can do mine. We'll do our makeup together, too." She says in a decisive manner. I turn, and she laces me up tight. I hand her my black dress with the gold accents, and she puts it on. It's sleeveless, and looks great on her. I lace her up, helping her conceal her weapons. Then we do our hair.

She does mine in a curly bun, and I curl hers into long ringlets, plaiting a crown of braids around her head. She looked great. "I'll get us some lunch when we get to Asgard." I tell her, and she grins, nodding.

"I can't wait to spend some quality girl time!" She exclaims. We finish our makeup, her doing her normal, ad me doing black mascara an eyeliner with shimmery green eye shadow. I put on a hint of blush, and some faint dark red lipstick. I put a trail of gold dots below my left eye. I stand back, admiring myself. I'm still hideous, but it'll have to do. I get sick to my stomach at my reflection. I want Loki to like it, I realize, and clench my fists.

"(y/n)?" Natasha says, and sees my pale expression. "Oooooooh, I see what this is about~" She says, noticing my clenched fists. "We'll pass him on the way out, don't worry. You look great."

"Walking dump trucks aren't gorgeous, Natasha." I say, frowning, and then walking out of my room. I go into the kitchen, passing Steve, Sam and Bruce at the table. They all get wide eyed. Steve blushes at Natasha, Sam stands up, and Bruce widens his eyes at me. Tony walks in, and drops whatever he's holding.

"Holy mother of god! (y/n), Natasha, where are you going, and will you take me with you!" He asks, almost tripping.

"No. Only me and Natasha are going." I say, depression on my face, as I grab the milk carton, and down whatever's left, tossing it to Steve. "Could you throw that away? It's hard for me to get to the trash can in this." I say, and Tony dives to snatch it from him, and they end up fighting over it, for whatever reason. I look over at Natasha, who's laughing her head off.

"Come on, (y/n)." She says. She pulls me into the living room, to tell Clint, Thor, and Loki that we're leaving. Thor and Loki stand as I enter the room, and Loki's face is one of surprise, terror, and awe. Thor's matches, though the terror is not present. Instead, happiness is clear across his face.

"Lady (y/n)! You look simply ravishing today! What seems to be the occasion?" He asks, pleased.

"Natasha and I are going to Asgard for a picnic. Would thou like to join us?" I ask.

"Of course, Lady (y/n)!" He says. He walks over to us. Loki seems dejected, and I can't just leave him there.

"Lord Loki, you are welcome too, if you will behave." I say. His face lights up, but he replies with an arrogant laugh, and mocking face, trying to act cool, I guess.

"You'll allow me? My dear, I do as I wish-" He starts, but I cut him off.

"You know what, Loki, I just wanted you to come so I could spend more time with you, but it appears that you're only fit to be an arrogant ass, and flea-ridden mules are not welcome to join us." I say. His eyes widen, and I snap my fingers. Me, Thor, and Natasha are all at the portal, which quickly activates. Soon, we're in Asgard. We greet the gatekeeper, and he nods, recognizing me and Thor. Loki suddenly appears behind us. "I told you you're not welcome." I say simply, and then turn my heel, walking away. I can tell he's frowning, and he makes the illusion of him going back to the tower. He's still behind us, though, following. I sigh/huff.

"Come, let me show you to my favorite place in the castle. Well, other than Loki's room." I say, relishing in the fact that I've dropped a hint about liking Loki right at his very own feet. I walk quickly, making small talk with Natalia and Thor, acting flirtatious toward both of them, and we all make sexual innuendos, messing around. Mostly it's me and Nat, but Thor chimes in occasionally, too. I wish I could see Loki's face right now. We reach the stretch of garden with an old, weeping tree, just outside my old chamber windows. I used to stare at this place at night, wanting to go out here, but being unable to as a servant. At night, I was never allowed to leave the palace, but had always wanted to be here at night. I plan on coming back by myself when it gets dark, to finally see this place at night in person.

"I always gazed here at this beauty when I couldn't sleep. That was my window. Loki's room doesn't have any windows. Actually, I need to go check something, could you two wait here for a bit? Here." I say, snapping, and handing them a picnic basket and blanket. "Find a good spot. When you get hungry, ask the basket for some sort of food, and then open it. You'll find your request inside, however you asked for it." I say, and then frown at myself. I can't believe I'm about to do what I am, but...

I head up to Loki's room, and I notice he's following me. I stop on my way, picking up a duster and broom with a dustpan. I enter his room, and let out a slight shriek, bringing my hand to my mouth. It's horrible! His clothes aren't an issue, he's got all that and his armor back at the tower, but it's still a horrible mess in here. I immediately use my magic to set the duster and broom to work, while I organize the books. I make the bed, and all too soon, it's finished.

"Goddammit. Why do I have to give in to my lovesickness?! Every time I think of him, I just have to clean! And It's not like he ever noticed me, I was just a servant. I feel like I'm warring with him! I want to cry! What the hell do I DO?!" I say in agony, forgetting he's in the room with me. I snap my fingers, now in my tank top, pants, and armor. My makeup is gone. "Goddamn that Loki. He never even told me I was beautiful! I'm not insecure anymore, but you'd think the god of lies could learn how to take a hint! Jeez!" I say angrily to myself, storming out of the room.

When I meet Natasha and Thor, I tell them angrily to spar with me, not eating. We spar, and I get many new cuts and bruises. The physical pain is a nice distraction from my emotional pain, and I laugh when I get a gash running down the length of my leg, splitting the skin open. At this display, Thor and Natasha darkly call the spar off. I'd gotten too violent.

"Hey, Thor, where did Loki stay when he was in prison? Maybe I'd feel better staying there for awhile." I say, and then Thor's eyes widen.

"That is the last straw, Lady (y/n)! You know not what you say, and I have been driven to believe you're not well in the head, at this moment!" He angrily says, putting me over his shoulder, and bringing me back to the tower. I cut my hands a few times on my swords, and when Thor realizes what I'm doing, he has Natasha knock me out, and I feel icy blue eyes following my return to the tower.