Bitter Sweet

Chapter 5

“Mmm,” I groaned as dim light shown through my eye lids and disturbed my sleep. I rubbed my dreary eyes, seeing stars as the bright morning sun leaked through the open curtains and burned my eyes. People were already up and running, and I heard laughter from the streets, and even the hallways of the hotel.

My head started aching from oversleep and I pulled the comforter over my head. My hand was hanging off of the side of the bed and gripping something warm and rough. I looked around to see what it was and found Gavin wrapped up in yet another giant heap of blankets. His head poked out from the blanket wrappings and his arm stuck out through a crack between two blankets, holding my hand tightly. His hand was hot in mine and I could feel his steady pulse as he slept.

I blushed lightly as my heart pounded faster, hurting my chest and flowing blood more quickly to my face. His nose twitched slightly and my heart jumped into my throat. What should I do? My mind raced in a panic, rushing to find an answer to my question. Should I wake up and pretend it never happened? Or should I fall asleep until he wakes up first?

His eyes twitched behind his closed lids and I quickly snapped my eyes shut, squeezing them tight and going with the second choice. Though, I picked the second answer to my question, I could feel my heart pounding painfully in my chest. How was I supposed to go back to sleep like this?!

His hand slightly tightened around mine and I could hear him groan beside me, waking up. My cheeks flushed brighter and I tried to discreetly bury my face in the pillow, hiding my blush from view. He paused, presumably looking around, or attempting to unravel himself from the heap of blankets he was tangled in, before slowly slipping his hand out of mine.

When he did, it felt cold, the feeling you get when you stand in front of a heater for a while and move, the backs of your legs tingling with new found emptiness.

I heard him get up, his bare feet ruffling against the carpeted floor, and then the bathroom door closed. I threw my eyes open and jumped out of the bed, shaking my head like a dog out of water. I had to get rid of this awkward feeling before Gavin came back out of the bathroom and noticed that I was awake.

My head spun from the sudden jerking movement. I wobbled back over to the bed and I held my head steady, waiting for the room to stop spinning and my head to stop aching before I stood back up. I heard the shower turn on and the water pound on the bathtub.

Quickly, I ran over to my bag and unzipped it, yanking out my cell phone and a change of cloths before zipping it back up again and changing within a matter of seconds. I wouldn't be able to shower, so I grabbed a thick hair tie and messily threw my hair up into a ponytail.

I ran around the room in search of a piece of paper and pen, scribbled off an excuse and slipped my shoes on. The water still sounded through the bathroom door, and I heard the water slosh in the bathtub as Gavin moved around in the shower. I snagged my purse and wallet from the couch, where Gavin had thrown it last night, and left the room, apologizing silently as I did so.

There was no way that I would have been able to face him, and running away was the only thing I could think of for now. I would probably be over it by the time I got back at night, and this whole day would just be a lazy day by myself. It was a win-win, right?

I had written something about going to the nearest city to shop, and so I did just that, catching the bus just as it came around the corner at the bus stop. I smiled to the driver and took a seat away from other passengers, relaxing and cooling myself off from my morning rush.

Briefly my mind wandered to Gavin, wondering if he'd gotten out of the shower and read my sloppy note, yet. I wondered if he would be mad when I got back, for leaving so suddenly, or if he'd just be normal, thinking nothing of it.

I was too innocent, I knew I was too innocent, but I couldn't help it. I had never woken up in that situation before, and I wasn't sure how to react. In fact, up until now I'd never even questioned how that happened in the first place. How did that happen? Had I asked him to stay with me while sleep talking? Or had I been holding his hand previously and I was holding on so tight that he couldn't get away? Any way I thought about it, any idea that had popped into my head, drew me up as the culprit. Was I secretly clingy? Was I a pervert? Was I secretly a clingy pervert?!

I shook my head again, hoping these weird thoughts would just fly out of my ear and disappear or something. I briefly questioned my sanity, and I was pretty sure that the rest of the passengers on the bus were too, thinking thoughts like 'who's that crazy lady whipping her hair back and forth?'

Sighing, I brought my knees up to my chest and buried my face, hoping to somehow get rid of these thoughts and feelings of confusion and frustration. It wasn't fair. He was probably thinking nothing of it, strutting around the empty hotel room in his underwear and pretending to be the king of the world. I popped my head out of my knees and looked around, wondering what kind of creepy person was hanging around me giving me these completely random ideas.

Maybe it was Mackenna. I should learn to ignore her sometimes. Whenever she opens her mouth I should register in my brain the dangers of paying attention to her ramblings.

The bus stopped at a station just outside of the city and let off a cute elderly couple before continuing on to where I wanted it to stop. I got an opportunity to shop alone, so I was glad that I could do something useful. The bus stopped and I waited to follow everyone else through the opening doors and onto the bustling sidewalk.

Boutiques and small restaurants were lined up side by side on both sides of the street, each with a discount price sign in the window. The festival always brought a lot of people, and as such every shop within a 20 mile radius had sales for the week.

I walked into one of the more decent looking stores and began looking around and the clothes they had hanging around. As opposed to casual wear, I was mostly just looking for business clothes to wear to work. I mean, I needed to have something besides Gavin to talk about when I got back home.

I looked around the store, observing the many racks of clothes. It was a quaint botique, and it had an antique sort of feel to it. The clothes themselves were very modern, half of the items hanging around looked like something you could find at Wet Seal, or Banana Republic, but the shop was small, and comfortable.

The sales clerk looked over at me and smiled. "Can I help you?" she asked.

"No, I'm fine, thanks," I replied, smiling back, and returned to looking at the dresses hanging on the wall.

After a while, I found that shopping wasn't as fulfilling as I thought it would be. I just ended up walking through the streets, blindly searching for something interesting in the windows. I had only found a few decent outfits in the three hours that I'd spent walking around. My feet ached in my shoes and I felt more tired than I had when I woke up this morning.

I looked at the three bags that hung off my arms and pouted, disappointed that I couldn't find more than that in this whole town. Sighing, I returned to the bus stop and waited the few short minutes until the bus returned. After living near New York City, this place felt nearly deserted. Only a few people walked up and down the sidewalks and barely anyone was parked on the side of the street.

I laughed quietly to myself. Maybe it'd be nice to live somewhere calm like this, I thought. I shrugged it off, however. Nah, I'd probably get bored too fast.

The sidewalks had filled up considerably since I started shopping, and the bus station had also began raking in a decent sized crowd. I waited impatiently in the throng of people, trying not to get shoved around by the strangers everywhere. When the bus arrived, the crowd shoved against one another and poured through the open doors. I sighed, frustrated.

At points in time like this, I wished I was some sort of huge body builder. Hot damn, would it be great to just trample everyone in my way. I mean, really now. Why do I have to be so tiny? I feel like a freaking door mouse in a room full of lions. One of these monsters was going to eat me, I swear.