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A WINK AND A CROOKED SMILE, She could never quite see the music but the music could see her. There is this condition called rapture of the deep, it's when a deep sea diver spends to much time at the bottom of the ocean and cannot tell which way is up.
And with all beauty and grace, all power and silence the broken but beautiful girl who couldn't decide if waking up from nightmares about her sides splitting open or the dreams about him holding her jaw like it meant something to him; what had damaged her most.
As the informal speech about mental health was rolling out of the doctors mouth and the white walls in his office had never looked so white, from the moment her mother had looked at her brother with joy in her eyes and congratulated him and started to forget her.
Every since that moment everyday had been halloween, every party wear a costume regardless and her closet was every shade of someone else.
But all of the sudden the voices stopped, no, the real voices between the doctor and her mother and Francesca snapped out of it. -"Excuse me, what?" Francesca asked and smiled like she was trained to. The doctor changed his expression to surprised, -"What made you come here?" And the unspoken words was "Mental hospital, a grim place for children and sick people".
Francesca was good at silence, staying quiet, she couldn't remember the exact moment she learned silence; maybe it was a quiet game. The blonde girl looked down upon her arm, all scars and bruises, all something that shouldn't be there and the judgmental look from her mother made her even more angry like she wanted to scream, raise havoc on earth and destroyed everything that got in her way. Everything beautiful that she was not.
She was trained to just smile and answer the question, -"I wanted to carve Vincent van Gogh's, "Dr. Gachet's Garden" on my skin..." She looked down her arm, red streaks covering it. While her mother just rolled her eyes and let out a heavy breath of exhaustion.
The doctor nodded his head and looked once again at his papers, reading everything he had collected durring the time Francesca had spend her summer at the mental hospital. While he started talking Francesca turned her eyes to look out of the window, instead of listening to everything she already knew, -"You have paranoia, apophenia and obsessive compulsive personality disorder--" The doctor started but as her mother cut him short.
-"No" and a simple laughter, -"She isn't sick, this is just a phase, right. I mean everyone had those in highschool. She isn't suposed to be sick, she isn't like the rest of these people." Francesca's mother tried but she didn't want to believe that her daughter needed to be her around these sort of people.
The doctor tried again to say, -"We don't use the word, 'sick people' just people" But it was like moving a mountain with your left arm, trying to convince Francesca's mom like she was wrong it was much easier to just shoot yourself in the foot than 'teaching an old dog to sit'.
