The sun kept rising, and we kept kissing. The air was cold but our bodies warmed each other up. Eventually, articles of clothing were being taken off, and I got worried I would relive the last time this happened.
I traced my tongue along her chest, and moved back up to reconnect our lips. She scratched my back, and god it felt so good. I moved my hips over hers slightly to see how she would react, and she received it. Fuck, I wanted to strip her so bad bad get inside her more than anything right now. I know she would never let me, I just know. I continued to kiss her everywhere that I could, everywhere that she would let me.
She slid her hand down to the hem of my pants and pulled at the buttons, attempting to slide them off of me. I let her. While I was standing, taking them off, she crawled over our clothes, and got on her knees in front of me. I could've died at the sight of Venus on her knees, looking up at me with wide, curious eyes. She seemed hesitant to touch me, even just over my boxers. I gently took her wrist.
"Have you ever...?" I asked. She looked down slightly, and then back at me, shaking her head with such little movement I could barely tell. "You don't have to. Maybe just-maybe not now." As much as it pained me to say it, I could feel that she wasn't ready, and just because she in a mood right now, didn't mean she should just do it. It was my responsibility to stop her from doing something like that, even though I wanted it so, so badly. She looked down again, nodding. I squatted down in front of her, cupping her hands in my face.
"It's okay, Venus. It's okay to not be ready." I tried to tell her. She scoffed and yanked away from me, clearly hurt.
"You don't have to protect me, you're not my boyfriend. You're barely my friend." She said harshly, yeah, she was hurt. I knew that reacting to her words in the way she wanted me to would only give her the satisfaction of whatever little game she was playing.
"Barely friends is still some form of friends. I'll take it." I said, turning around to pick up my shirt, the mood was clearly ruined. I could see her smile out of the corner of my eye.
"What's that?" She asked me. I flinched, I knew what she was talking about.
"Nothing." I said, trying to slip my pants back on over my calf to cover what she was looking at if.
"No." She said, walking over to me, getting low to the ground, and moving my wrist down so my pant leg wouldn't cover it up. "What is it?" She asked again, less curious, more demanding.
She ran her fingers over the raised skin carefully.
"Does it hurt?" She asked, I shook my head. She was referring to the large tattoo of a black and white butterfly across my calf, covering the scar beneath it. You couldn't tell there was a scar, unless you were touching it the way Venus was. I moved her hand away, hurt flashed across her face once again. I didn't want her asking questions. "How did you get that scar?" She asked. Of course she wanted to know about the scar, not the tattoo.
"Car crash." Was all I said, I didn't care to explain anymore, and hoped she would read me on that. She nodded like she wasn't going to press me further, but her curiosity drove her towards it.
"Was anyone else in the car?" She asked quietly. I shut my eyes for a moment, trying to fight back all of the emotions threatening to rise over. When I opened them again, I quickly dressed myself and simply answered,
"Yes. My parents are going to wake up soon and they can't know I was out all night, I have to go." She nodded.
"That's not very fair, I'm normally the one running out on you." I laughed at her attempt to lighten the mood. She dressed herself, and we exited through the front doors of the office building. I wondered if the party was still going on, if it ever stopped.
"You have a way home?" I asked her as we approached my car in the still empty parking lot, but much less threatening by daylight. She nodded and touched my hand as I got into the front seat, letting it linger. Then offering me a smirk and walking away without so much as a goodbye.
When I got home, much to my pleasant surprise, my parents were still asleep, and Caspar, was sitting at my kitchen table eating a bowl of cereal.
"Morning, sunshine." He said with a mouthful of milk and Frosted Flakes. I nodded hello to him and the sat down at the counted, practically slamming my head in exhaustion. "Long night? Let me guess, mystery girl invited you out and took you down quite the path of danger and excitement, only to lead you on and break your heart again." I looked up at him, questioningly. "You're predictable, Mikey." Why does everyone think that? "Enlighten me, how was it?"
"She asked about my tattoo." I told him, it was all I could think of, and I didn't want to think about the party and the LSD and the rejection.
"Ah, Vincent. Did you give her the whole tortured artist spiel?" Caspar asked, taking his dish to the sink.
"No, the other one." He dropped his bowl harshly into the sink this time.
"Oh, fuck. What did you say?" He said, moving closer to me.
"Nothing. Because that's what it is." I told him flatly. I never should have even brought it up. Caspar's mouth hung open, and he looked down, shaking his head.
"It's not nothing, Mikey. You lost your sister..." he started, trailing off, not knowing what else to say.
"I know, Caspar. I know what happened." I said quietly. We were both at a loss for words. Caspar and I had talked about it countless times and yet we could never get past it, it was never easy. "I should get ready for classes, you should too." I told him, walking past Caspar with my head down.
The first thing I noticed as I approached my room was the fact that my bedroom door was wide open. I walked in slowly, expecting it had been my parents, but knowing otherwise when I saw the the piece of paper turned over on my bed.
I slowly walked up to it and turned it over in my hands.
I think this would make a good tattoo next time we go out, if you're feeling brave - Astraea
Below her note was a drawing of a Venus flytrap, an ode to our first conversation. I chuckled and set the paper back down, running my thumb over the drawing. Caspar stood in my doorway.
"She dropped it off a few minutes before you got here. You're not that predictable, but her showing up helped me put the pieces together."
"It's an apology." I said.
"I don't know much about Venus, but I don't see her apologizing if she doesn't plan on seeing you again." I nodded, looking at the drawing one last time before turning away and dressing myself. Caspar still stood in my doorway. "She's good for you, Mikey. Like it or not, I was right." I shook my head and chuckled.
"You're delusional." I told him, grabbing my book bag and walking past him.
"Admit it Mikey! Caspar finally got something right." I could feel his smirk as he followed me down the steps. I shook my head and laughed, I would not give him the satisfaction of being right. Even if I knew that he wasn't too far off.
"Okay, okay. We can talk about it later, I have a class to get to."
"Looking like that?" He let out a whistle, "it's rough, brother." He said, referring to my appearance. I gave him a punch on the arm.
"It's been a long night, asshole." I yelled while he walked the opposite way from me on the sidewalk. As I approached the BART station, I stopped and took the drawing out of my bag, just to look at it. It made me wonder what a tattoo of a Venus flytrap would look like printed on my body somewhere. What an idea.
