I rewrote it because I didn't like how it was. * * * * * "If this isn't love Why do I feel this way? Why you got me so obsessed with you?" — In My Feelings
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K E I T H Many people call me strange or passionless and maybe even emotionless but that is far from the truth because I was passionate about her and still am till this day. The first time I saw her, I knew she was something special. Whenever she would be in my presence, I would stop breathing for a while, my heart would pound heavily against my chest, I could feel the happiness I've been longing for so long fill within me.
She didn't know who I was and I wanted to keep it that way for a while. I wanted to make sure she was the right one but deep down I knew I was too scared to actually approach her. But the crazy thing is she already knew who I was, I just didn't know.
She wasn't like these other girls who wore tight fitted clothes or had multiple parts of their bodies exposed just for attention, the wrong attention.
Her hair was wild and curly, she made a bold statement by dying it purple but it enhanced her warm brown skin. It was as if she was "dipped in chocolate, bronzed in elegance, enameled with grace, and toasted with beauty." The sun was her best friend, even though many people told her to stay away. She didn't listen though, thank God.
Her big brown puppy dog eyes lit up whenever someone mentioned art, any kind of art, it was her passion. Whenever her favorite song came on, she'd do her little dance then hide her face if someone caught her.
She is intelligent, kind and caring but people put her down anyway just because she's darker than them. I looked beyond all the bullshit the media and people say about chocolate skinned girls. They weren't angry, they weren't bitter and they sure weren't ugly.
I craved her touch, I wanted to touch her so badly, not in a sexual way but in a loving one. But I'm afraid I'll ruin her, I'll make too many mistakes that I can't fix. I don't want that for her she needs to be happy.
I always hated the whole 'light skin vs dark skin' thing, I never seen why it mattered because to the white man's eye, were all the same. So when I see lighter shaded girls harass her for having a darker pigmentation, my blood boils I can literally feel the heat radiating off my body. But in times like those again, I freeze and don't say anything. I'm stupid, I know. I don't mean to do it intentionally.
It also sickens me how some black men themselves refuse to be seen with a black women. Acting like their mom, sisters, nieces, aunts and grandmothers aren't black females a damn shame. The main people who put her down are the black males in our school which is sad, they're just as dark if not darker than her bashing something she can't change.
I wanted her to know everything was alright and that in the end what they say doesn't matter because it doesn't.
I told the very few friends I had, I'd never fall in love. Never have I ever believe in that shit until she walked pasted me one day in the hallway. She looked over at me and smiled, showing me her pearly whites. I knew I was screwed but I didn't care. I wanted to be the reason why that smile would be plastered on her face everyday.
I fell in love with justine skye that day and I never regretted it.
