Roller Coaster Called Life // phan

What the hell happened last night.

Phil's POV
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I wake up in a haze with a terrible headache. I'm lying on the couch in the lounge, how did I get here? All I remember from last night was Yuko telling us about what has been happening at school, then it's all a blank space in my memory. Why am I not in bed with Dan? I stumble over to our room, to find Dan still asleep with deep and dark bags under his eyes,

"Dan? What happened last night? I have a really bad headache and I don't remember much after Yuko went to bed."

Dan mumbles something but it's inaudible. I lean in to give him a light kiss on the cheek but he rolls over to avoid my lips. I feel hurt. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED LAST NIGHT
I sit down in the edge of the bed, waiting for an explanation.

"You were drinking last night Phil. I don't even know why but it better not happen again, you can't lose control, I'm losing my mind and Yuko can't lose you too. If you don't do it for me, do it for her." What was he talking about? I know it's easy for me to lose control, but I haven't drank excessive amounts of alcohol in years.

But that's when it comes back to me. I remember picking up the bottle of scotch, I remember refilling the glass until my mind was numb. How could I lose control this quickly?

"It won't happen again Dan, forgive me, please." I say with all my heart. Dan doesn't answer, his head is turned, not facing me, he's probably already asleep. So instead I place myself under the covers and lay there, looking at the ceiling, wondering how we got here, again.

Dan's POV
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He doesn't understand. He says it won't happen again, but it will, it always does. Yuko is hurting, I'm hurting, why can't he finally just be the man of the family and take care of us? Oh right, because I'm a mess. I should still be there for Yuko, not just Phil. I shouldn't have lost control and fallen into the spiral of depression once again. I just need time. Time to think.

I pull myself out of bed, leaving Phil fast asleep. I tiptoe into the kitchen and grab a notepad.
Dear Phil and Yuko,
I'm heading out for a bit, don't worry about me. I should be home for tonight.
Love Dan.
I don't know if I'm going to be home for tonight. But I might as well give them hope. I grab my coat, and head outside.
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Phil's POV
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I wake up for the second time. Dan's gone. DAN'S GONE. I rush out of the bed hoping to find him in the kitchen getting a coffee. But all I find is Yuko at the kitchen counter crying.
I rest my hand softly onto her shoulder,

"What's wrong Lion?"

"He's gone. D-dad, h-he left a-a note." A note? I become frantic and rip the note out of Yuko's hands. I read it over twice. That's it, he left. He'll be back for tonight though right? Part of me is saying he'll be back, but part of me is saying that he won't, that he has left and he isn't coming back.

"Lion, we just need to trust him. That he knows what he is doing, that's all we can do right now."

"But it was all my fault dad! I'm the one who forced all my problems onto you two! And look, now you've started drinking and dad has left!" Yuko has tears streaming down her face and her gaze set on the bottle of scotch still in the kitchen counter. Oh god, what have I done?

"No Lion, it was my fault. I was the one who made him leave. He can't stand it when I start to drink."

"But you started to drink because of me!" Was she wrong? Why did I pick up that bottle of scotch? I pull Yuko into an embrace,

"Lion, everything is going to be alright. And no, it wasn't because of you that I started to drink. It was because of me. I should have kept control. Don't ever blame yourself for this okay?" Now I have tears dropping slightly onto her shoulders.