Commander Of The Fallen

Shattered Sight

Shepard had been warned that her synthetic eyes might not work fully until later, they were the least of her health problems, but that didn't stop the panic when she woke up partially blind one morning. Fading hope made her believe it would get better as the day went on, however it seemed the opposite happened. A few days later and she was completely blind. Flashes of light were her only solace as she sat in her apartment. Her nurse, a lovely lady from the Alliance, would visit soon but until then she was very much on her own. In a silent home.

It wasn't that frightful at first, in fact, Shepard found it oddly calming at first. Just listening and trying not to think too much on the fact that she might not be able to see anyone she cared for again. If Garrus, Joker or even EDI (Still no message back on if that had happened) had survived, would she never be able to see their faces again? No, she wasn't going to think about that. She would see them again one day. Shepard played with her hands, running her fingertips over the known creases in her palms. Something her therapist had taught her in case of panic attacks.

This was considered grounding, to take one thing from each of her senses and focus on that instead of the panic rising in her heart, to accept the panic and not let it ruin her. But it wasn't working as well as it usually did, without sight she was missing the main one of her senses. Maybe she would have to face a different approach. What other options were there for her to take?

"You would know what to do right now..." she breathed out slowly and let her head fall back. It was one thing to be blind, but another to know what things looked like without being able to see them. She wondered slowly about other things that would cause equal harm. Being left behind, or leaving people behind. Forcing people out and maybe even keeping people in. How many opposites felt the same to both parties? This led to thoughts on everything she had been through and that was not a nice road at all. There were bright spots for sure, and then there were seriously dark moments.

Her start had been nice, she could just recall the days she spent skirting her duties and reading adventure stories in trees, but that had changed with a battle she had barely escaped from. And again, her life had brightened up with Anderson taking her in and teaching her before she could join at age eighteen. Joining and rising though the ranks had made her happy. A sense of order and need had pushed her and then that had all crumbled with another battle. It seemed to cycle, good then bad and then a long recovery. Irony was in buckets when she thought of that.

"Brace for evasive manuvers!" came across the intercom and that was all Shepard needed, what was attacking her ship this time? The ship moved to one side so violently that Shepard needed to steady herself on the wall. If they were under attack then she needed back up, THEY needed backup. Walking fast she focused on her goal. To send a mayday as soon as she could. It was that moment that the entire deck went black and the emergency lights came on. Fire exploded onto the deck and she felt the worry for her crew cut like a knife. Getting to the console she swiped as fast as she could and then typed, they had to help them, hopefully they got to the lifepods.

"Shepard!" came a voice, just as urgent as Joker's had been, she knew what they were about to ask.

"Stress beacon is ready to launch." She breathed and turned slightly, seeing Liara looking at her so worriedly. Hitting the button and then turning fully to her friend, she knew that they had to get to the life pods now.

"Will the Alliance get here in time?" Liara asked, a twist in her gut made her feel like they wouldn't but saying that would be counterproductive. Especially since they needed the inner circle to focus on helping the crew.

"The Alliance won't abandon us, Liara, we just need to hold on. Get everyone to the escape shuttles and make sure you do too." Shepard said loudly, over the explosions and crackling metal. Putting some fire out and making sure she stayed on her feet were all she could focus on right now. It was that moment that her friend said the worst thing she ever could say.