Forever Gone

Chapter 6

"I can't do it by myself," I whispered.

"You can," he said. There was a tremulous note in his voice. "You're strong—you're so, so strong. It's why I love you.” 

― Richelle Mead, Shadow Kiss

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When I pull into my driveway the first thing I notice is my mothers car. "Yea," I say to myself "so not dealing with her today." I pull back out onto the road and head to the lake. I really shouldnt go there. Not after what happened. But that's the only private place I can think of at this moment that I could go be with my father. 

We called the place Rose Waters. Most people would think that's a stupid name. I don't. I'm obsessed with roses. I always have been. When I was four years old, my daddy brought me here every weekend. Yea that's right I call my father daddy. Don't judge! One day he had told me to come up with a name for the lake. I remember looking up at him smiling. I said,"Daddy, this is Rose Lake,"

He laughed and said "How about Rose Waters?" That's how we named this place. We didn't put much thought into it. We didn't have to. It was natural. I smiled to myself thinking about the gamed we used to play at Rose Waters. My favorite was always"Prince Saving". I would always be the princess names pose, and my daddy would be my prince. He would have to save me from one of those water noodles. The noodle was the dragon. Another game, we started playing when I was older, was Bark Sketch. This was my favorite when I was fourteen. I had got a pocket knife for my birthday, and I had been dying to use it. My father had finally brought my to the park and let me try it out. We ended up a game were we each had to use our pocket knifes. The point of the game was to see which one of us could carve our name into the the tree faster. We only used one tree. That poor tree was covered with our names. In fact the lower part of the tree had gotten so crowded over the years that when I was fifteen I had to grab a chair out of the back of my fathers truck to use as a stool so I could reach a clear place. 

When I finally pull into the parking space my father had made all those years ago, a huge wave of emotions pass over me. The last time I was here I had tried to drown myself. No. I can't think about that now. I didn't realize why I was really here until I started to walk down the dirt trail towards our tree. I ran my fingers over our names. I did this over and over again. I bowed my head letting my hand fall to my side. Tears start to trail down my face. I don't try to stop them. No one is here to see me cry. I  turn my back to the tree and slide down its trunk. I cry. I cry until I can't cry anymore. I wipe my final tear away from my cheeks and stand back up.

I grab my pocket knife and open then blade then I turn around and start to carve my name one last time. I spend at least an hour on making my good-bye perfect. I swirl my letters. When I'm finished I run my hands over the bark. There will always be one more of my name now. I turn away from the tree and head to the lake. I sit down on the grass just close enough to the water that when the tide came at me it barley touched feet.  After another couple of hours the sky starts into that beautiful color of orange. The color that said good night right before the sun set. I decide that if I'm going to say goodbye to the tree I might as well say goodbye to the life before my fathers death. I take off my sweat shirt. Then I take off my tee shirt and my pants. I then walk slowly into the water. I walk until the water is up to my neck. The water is so cold I'm frozen to the bone. Then I take a deep breath and go under the water. I stay under water until it feels like my lungs are going to explode. I rocket to the surface and take in a breath of a new beginning. I step out of the water and walk to my car. I pull out onto the road and look back down the trail I had just came from. "Bye daddy," I whisper. I put my car into drive and then I drive away promising myself that I'd never look back.

Okay so little bit more meaningful then I thought it would be. I'm kind of speechless cause I can feel my characters. When I write I always end up make it into a movie as I write. So I wanna Know What books you guys recommend. I love the vampire academy series. Talk to me people! All right comment Next update should be done by this weekend if not it will be up on monday.