Leaning against the old oak tree in valley wood park I wrote whatever came to mind journaling and sketching the life around me, as birds sang and people wondered the park. Every time sat down in the grass I felt at peace because of the stillness that surrounded me. I glanced over at my watch laying in the grass, the time read 4:45 pm, so I started gathering my things and placing them in my bag. I got on my bike and road as fast as the peddles would allow me, out of breath I ran up the steps of my house and threw my bag behind a cracked pot and opened the creaky door. I stepped into my home and looked around my father was no where to be seen. Just when I thought I was alone I started walking across the living room, but to no surprise my mother was sitting there her feet on the coffee table leaning in her rocking chair. She didn't look up but glared at her lap intoxicated with red eyes and she began murmuring something and then pulled her head up that is when her words began to slap me " I knew you where pregnant, coming home late every night with that guilty smile on your face you should be ashamed of your self running around getting pregnant you know there's a word for girls like you" she slurred as she accused me. So I began to defend myself " I'm not pregnant , you never even asked where I was! I can tell you it's not a secret I was just in the park writing" after I told her where I was I regretted it. At this very moment the lies spoken of me would have been better than the truth itself. She snickered and then began to speak, "so you came home 45 minutes late to write, write what? about me? huh about what? speak up child". "No, About what I think and I don't know my perspective on things" I mumbled. Her laugh grew louder and more intimidating "what thoughts are going on up there that you have write about?" I didn't answer her question this time, what could I say to satisfy her... Nothing that's what. I was trapped until I came up with something.
The next day I found myself dodging everyone in the halls of my high school I didn't have anything to say to anyone.Funny enough the more my mother spoke lies about me the more I started to believe them making me feel ashamed and dirty.For what I hadn't even done.I shuffled through the halls towards my locker,just before I reached the door my best friend Bay Powell grabbed my shoulder and said "where have you been hiding?" spoken as her energetic perky self. "Oh no where, I've been around" I said with more emotion so that she wouldn't detect my pain."that's not what I heard , people have been talking about you saying that you walked by them so fast past them you pretty much knocked them over" she said sarcastically "I'm just pulling your leg but I saw you I even tried calling you a couple times but you didn't even turn your head". Finally I caught a gap in our conversation letting me answer her before she continued talking "hah well sorry I gotta' get to class and I promise I'm fine don't worry about me, I'm just in a hurry. I'll talk to you later though" I said back to my best friend. She quickly answered me before I ran off "that's what I'm for isn't it let me worry, well catch you later"
After the my chipper conversation with Bay I drifted back into reality.I continued down the long halls of Cedar brook high and into my last class before lunch. I payed as much attention as possible listening to the teacher go on and on about the advancement of sciences and how it depends on the general interplay between experimental studies and theories.I began to go back to the day before, what could I do to make my "Mother" believe me. I was just writing, nothing more nothing less. She will never trust me. Then again she's so drunk all the time she won't even remember in a couple of days but still those are days wasted trying to avoid her and make her happy all at once.Suddenly the sound of the bell echoed in my ears as it rang loudly. A storm of students rushed towards the door leaving just the teacher and I in the classroom, I was still copying down the rest of the notes off the board. Once I finished I held my books in front of me to shield myself from the roaring crowd of students shuffling threw the halls. I had with me my lunch so I went straight to the courtyard. I pressed mt back against the structure of the school building. I put mt head phones in and the music began to play, I opened my bag and ate in silence.I looked to my side startled to see a guy sitting next to me and staring at me, shocked,I said "what the hell are you looking at !?!"
he just sat there and smiled at me,"The names Jansen" he said to me, I looked at him "Odyssey" I said snappily and turned back to my lunch. I could still feel his eyes on me as I ate my apple, "what are you looking at?" I questioned him once more angrily. he didn't answer instantly but answered after a moment "You" he said simply but enough for me to see through his charm and good looks and recognize his narcissistic side.
*****
I let out a slight sigh of relief once the warm water started to pour down my back making me feel relaxed at the thought that I was finally alone and away from the world around me. This was one of the only places where I could be myself I didn't have to put on a fake smile and wear clothing that made me look as if I belonged on this place we called earth but in my eyes it was more like hell itself had come up and trapped me here forever with a dark cloud constantly being pulled back over my head as my name was mentioned and people figured out who I was, or better yet who I belonged to. My whole life people would whisper and stare at me about my families past, in such a small, tight knit town nothing much goes on so something as drastic as our story makes everyone act like, animals during hunting season. I swear if it was legal and not considered a total invasion of privacy they would have an entire article dedicated to us in our weekly newspapers.
