Self Written Collection Of Short Stories

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This one was for another writing task I my class....... this one just got real gross and weird 😂😂 enjoy?

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Mr. Cave
Often old crinkly men with beards are associated with mystery and magic. Especially in small children's fairy tales or even the grimmest of stories. Unfortunately this one follows suit quite boringly. Why does this long grey beard symbolise great wisdom? If I grow a long grey, grungy beard will I be an all-powerful wizard? Unlikely in my young eyes. However, Mr. Cave stood up to these wildly childish expectations. His long weathered beard hung so low it dragged across the filthy floor where he walked. Gathering little pieces of the ground as he went. It was mysterious to me how he didn't trip and fall on his ugly, lumpy face. He had small browned rocks holding down his beard from his travels to the desert, and melting snow staining the dregs of his beard.

He could go on and on and on and on with his incredibly boring stories. Gesturing wildly with his bony arms poisoning your nostrils with his disgusting BO. Oh had I mentioned? He hadn't showered in fourteen years! Fourteen years I tell you! That was his little secret, his poisoning BO and filthy sweat was the secret to his great wisdom. His BO made large boils and warts grow in his dusty armpits and on his scrawny arms. Oozy, acid like sweat stained his clothes and flowed down his face freely.

He often drank his own sweat. Now here's where it gets real interesting. HE says by drinking his own sweat he gains the knowledge of the places he's been. Like the smell of a rainforest harnesses the information of the crazed animals and people within. If you tried to fault him on it though then I wish you the best of luck. Ask him where he's been and quiz him if you dare. He will answer any bizarre question you could possibly have with ease and a smirk on his face. The often used smirk adding more and more ghastly wrinkles to his already bumpy face. As well as drinking his sweat he often ate his toe jam. Having not worn shoes in those fourteen years of travel for wisdom, he has acquired hobbits feet as I would say. Huge crackled and gnarled feet from cuts and bruises now quite immune to any terrain.

Drink his sweat yourself you say? Ah, now here's where the "magic" begins. He claims to himself and all other lookers for wisdom that he has cast a magical spell upon his bodily fluids. That any other wisdom seeking human, or animal for a matter of fact, would become horribly cursed and deformed if they attempted to gain the same wisdom as he. However my friends, I have gained the TRUE secret to this man's power. You see, greying beard, wise face, automatically you assume a wizard. However this man is a scientist! Deep down in his muddy cave are a series of secret rooms and laboratories. He experiments on the sweat and brains of his captors that lay beneath and unsuspecting creatures slithering through his home. Now you know the secret only his captors learn, for any adventurer brave enough to dare seek him never sees there rooms, no. They are left stranded in the pitiful story of a wizard. However, he is one magnificent man, even with his horrible green warts, gnarled crusty feet, yellowing chalky teeth and many other disgusting appendages but I think I'd much rather put you off your next meal. So I leave the challenge to you, my listeners, challenge this "wizard" or "wise man" whatever you prefer, at your own peril of course. If you succeed I congratulate you, and if you fail like many before you, then you'll meet me! You'll join me in the depths of his dungeon where he keeps his spoils of victory. The question is, can you face the infamous Mr. Cave?