wonderland is rotting: a one-shot series

one

A/N: Listen to "If I Die Young" by the cast of Glee while reading this. ps sorry if it's some trash, I haven't written in awhile but hahahahha i'm back!! enjoy!!
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i heard a scream.
it took me far too long to realize that it was me.
perhaps it was a scream out of frustration.
frustration for where life was leading up to. frustration for my indefinite fear of the future. frustration for what i managed to think myself into. or maybe just frustration to all the stress in life, i don't know. maybe i'll never know.
or maybe the people were right, maybe the scream was just imagined. another mere epitome of my imagination that was determined to depress me. or maybe i'm not insane for once, and maybe the scream was real. built up from the constant pain and suffering.
overthinking, being scared of what's going to happen next, it can really beat a person up. imagine the amount of scars and bruises we'd all have, if ideas could leave marks. maybe then it'd be taken more seriously. maybe then screams wouldn't be considered "crazy."
pushing, pushing, the world likes to weigh down on you. what with carrying all these feelings and then also carrying the stress of a regular kid your age.
except you're not regular. these feelings make you feel different from everyone else. you unlocked the ability to feel, but is that really a good thing?
pushing, more pushing. more weights of the world crushing your simple, frail, little shoulders. when people get physically beat they scream, so why can't you scream as well?
then one day you yell "screw it!" and let it out. you let out one, banshee sounding, scream. but no one can hear you. its all in your head. now you're being judged.
insanity kills, but maybe this feeling kills faster.
if i die young, bury me in satin. lay me down on a bed of roses, a sharp knife of a short life...and maybe then you'll hear the words I been singing..funny when you're dead how people start listening...🥀.