Never Feared Death (Daryl Dixon)

Acquittal With Consequences

Funerals.

There ceremonies to honor the dead but to the living it's nothing but a nightmare to those who loved the deceased friend or family member.

I stare at the fresh grave that we had buried Dale in merely a few days ago. It was a few hours past mid day as I set my gaze on the small wooden cross at the top of his grave that I'd craved out.

If anyone had been a real father to me, it'd been Dale...at least for the short time I had known him.

"I'm sorry this happened to you. I should've been watching your back." I wipe an escaped tear from my face. 

I felt at fault for his death. I was on watch while the other levied the pros and cons of killing Justin in which I had refused to weigh in on when they already knew my choice. I had been day dreaming when Dale stormed out but it was so peaceful and reminded me of the world before now that I found it hard to let go of the past. And as a consequence, Dale died on my watch. 

In some ways Carol had been right, the people I love, the people I merely touch seem to die within hours.  It's like I'm cursed or something. 

I brush another getaway tear from my face. 

At that moment and Dale as my witness, I vowed to put some distance between this group that I loved so much. All I seemed to do was bring death to them all but deep within my heart I knew I could not bring myself to leave them.

 "It's not your fault, you know." A voice from behind me interrupted my thoughts, "It wasn't your fault that Dale died." 

The voice was too young to be anyone other than Carl. 

I turn slightly so I could see him out of the corner of my eye, "How do you know?" 

Carl comes to stand beside me, his eyes not moving from the little wooden cross. He stays silent for a moment before shoving his hands in his pockets. 

"The walker, the one that killed Dale, I'd seen him earlier that day." His guilt ridden eyes were glittered with pain, "I was going to kill him. He'd gotten stuck in the mud...but then he got free. I was scared so I ran." 

I was taken aback but it didn't matter. This was not his fault; fear is only natural to a child his age. Hell, we're all scared but very little actually show it. 

"I was a coward and I got Dale killed for it." Carl whispers. 

I squat beside him, "It's not your fault, Carl. Don't even think that. Everyone gets scared, even me and your father, but Dale's death is not your fault."

Carl looks over at me a little more brightly. He gives me a small smile before hugging me and wondering off to find either Shane or his father. 

I look back at the cross and take out my knife that I'd hidden in my boot. I crawl toward the cross before etching four letters into it. 

Dale.

I put the knife back into it's place before looking at the wooden cross once more. 

"I swear to you, Dale, I'll protect them to the best I can. I don't want anyone else to die." I kiss my hand before touching the cross. 

Dale would be a witness to two vows of now. 

I push myself up and head back toward the house. Other arrangements needed to be done but in the pit of my stomach, I felt something was very wrong. 

I slip into the house and gather the things form my room. I couldn't stay in the house anymore because I was no longer injured and I needed to put distance between the group and I. After gathering the little belongings I have, I head to the RV where I know Dale had my tent.