REHAB || h.s. + t.s.

one.

Song for this chapter: Cold by Jorge Mendeź
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It was March 24th, on a cold, dark & rainy evening in Seattle. My mother and younger sister had been out shopping all day, I knew this was my only chance to do it, and if I wanted to do it, now was the time.

I got up from my tear-soaked bed and started down the hallway towards the bathroom, stopping and observing each and every framed picture of my beautiful younger sister on the beige wall. She had stunning brown eyes and a pale face, her smile was so beautiful that it put a sunflower to shame. As tears welled in my eyes, I continued in the direction of the bathroom. I love Gemma, but, I just could not think about leaving her forever, although I knew I had to.

  As I twisted the doorknob to the bathroom open, it was cold against my pale hands, sending a shiver down my spine. The bathroom was prepossessing and covered in white and black tile, the kind you'd see in a 1950's style home. To the right, was the sink, it was different than most sinks. It was a white vessel sink, sitting on a dark wooden stand that had four legs. Hanging off  of the wooden counter was a white wash rag that had the letter H engraved on it. The wall was mostly white tile, with a few spots of light gray here and there.

  I monitored myself in the dirty mirror, my face was kind of pleasant. I was relatively tan and I had green eyes with a hint of yellow and brown in mixed in. I was wearing a red Nike sweater with a small white check on the top left.

  I pulled my hand slowly out of my right pocket and opened the mirror, searching for the pills. I fiddled around the cabinet for at least fifteen seconds, Allergy Relief, Tums, amoxicillin, until finally I stumbled upon a skinny, transparent, orange bottle with a white cap that read "Hydrocodone."

  This was it. I made my way to the cast iron, claw foot bathtub, I viewed the shower curtain, only just realizing it's beauty. The curtain had a green background and was covered in bright sunflowers. I pulled the curtain open, slowly taking a step into the tub. As my bottom touched the tub, I couldn't help but realize how cold it was. It was so cold, that I could feel it through my jeans, I shivered.

  My heart was beating fast as I took the small, white cap off of the medicine bottle.

Bump bump, pause, bump bump.

I didn't know how many pills it took to overdose, so I just grabbed all of them. I turned the bottle upside down, watching each and every pill fall into my hand.

Bump bump, pause, bump bump.

The tears began to flow, as I swallowed each pill. I was taking two at a time, and I could feel them slowly going down my throat. I lied in the tub, crying, just waiting for this all to be over. As I gulped the last pill down, I knew this was it, I was going to die.

I realized that my demons began to take over my body as I started to regret it. How could I let them win? How could I do this to my little sister? She was too young to even understand the word "suicide." I was sorry, so sorry that my ten year old sister would have to grow up without her brother, wondering why he left her. I began to feel weary, my eyes forcing themselves shut.

  As I took my last blink, observing my cold, pale hands one last time, I let out a soft "I'm sorry."
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Word Count: 636