Turn It Up

#10 Not The Hormones Talking

"I can't believe you haven't kissed him yet." Christina shook her head despairingly. "Those lips? How can you resist?"

I glanced over to make sure Justin wasn't listening. Luckily he wasn't - CJ was holding his hands up, palms flat and facing Justin, and Justin was punching them, laughing.

"And the look you two give each other?" She winked. "I know I've mentioned this before and I know Justin was listening and -"

"Christina?" I interrupted. "Can we just... move on? To talking about you and... CJ, maybe?"

She blushed. "What about me and CJ?"

"Everyone knows there's something going on between you two." I smirked.

Christina shrugged, but she was still red. "That's just the hormones talking."

I laughed, and Justin looked up. Our eyes met, and his gaze was fierce and heart-melting. I was stuck there in his eyes.

"There it is!" Christina giggled. I tore my eyes away.

"What?"

"The whole 'let's go to the bedroom' look. The 'I'm screwing you with my eyes' look. The-"

"Okay, I get it!" Now I was blushing. "Thanks for putting that into context for me."

"Glad I could help."

The truth was, I was getting tired if being near Justin but resisting him. Every time we were about to kiss, someone interrupted us, or my stupid mind told me to back off. But next time I swore I wouldn't listen to it.

I really needed to sort out things with Ethan. And I kind of felt like I needed Justin to help me do it.

Ethan and I had gone out for six months, and what we had was good. It just wasn't... passionate and amazing. I did love him, and everything about him, but sometimes things got dull. We were just a small flame that never turned into a roaring fire. Justin and I, however... we were a freaking volcano that erupted ever second.

All that and we hadn't even kissed yet.

I sighed and looked up at Justin. He was looking at me, and I jerked my head towards his separate bedroom. He raised an eyebrow seductively and I rolled my eyes. Trust him to turn that into something dirty.

I got up and headed to the bedroom, and I knew he was following me. As soon as he shut the door behind him I threw myself at him and kissed him senseless.

Just joking.

"What is it?" he questioned, leaning against the wall. I sighed.

"I really need to sort things out with my, uh... boyfriend." I swallowed. Justin waited expectantly. "I just... I don't know what the hell to do."

"Ellen, I don't even know what you want to do." He smirked. "I mean, you can't deny that you are attracted to me."

I rolled my eyes. "Stop being so cocky."

"You're not denying it." Justin took a step closer to me. I held my ground.

"And your point?" I tried to keep my cool as he took another small step.

He shrugged. "You are so falling for me."

"Your point?" I repeated, my heart beating so fast and loud I was sure Justin could hear it.

"My point is..." He grinned, and then he leaned back. "I mean, if it was in my hands, of course I'd want you to dump your 'boyfriend'." He smirked at the fact that I was trying to control my breathing after having him so close to me. "And so if it was my choice, you would text him right now, because, Ellen, I'm not going to deny that I like you."

My heart stopped there and then. "Well, popstar, maybe I don't like you as much as you think I do."

"Is that so?" Justin was suddenly close to me again.

I nodded. "Mm-hm, I mean, you're cocky, you're - you're..." I was having trouble concentrating because of Justin's proximity to me. "You're flirty... you're... you're... you can be rude, and annoying..."

"I think you just listed all the things you love about me," Justin said, smirking, as he took another step forward causing my back to be against the interior of the bus. He put his hands either side of my head.

I shook my head frantically. My heart was racing. "No, you've got it all wrong."

His face was so close to mine I could feel his breath on my lips. I could breathe in his Justin smell that I was so obssessed with.

"Ellen, I'm pretty sure I've got it all right."

I bit my lip. "No, no, this isn't right."

Justin's gaze was on my lips. "You can believe whatever you want to believe, but we both know this is far from wrong."

I shook my head again. "No, I'm not as attracted to you as you think-"

His lips on mine broke me off.

I barely hesitated before kissing him back.

My hands grabbed onto his shirt and curled themselves around it, pulling him closer to me. His hands went around my waist, his fingers causing my shirt to ride up a bit. I could feel his skin on my skin. Justin's arms tightened around my waist. I ran my fingers through his hair, along his shoulders, down his face, and he shuddered under my touch.

We were in complete synchronization, it was almost as if we'd rehearsed it, but of course we hadn't. Not in reality, anyway. I'd imagined this moment in my head many times, but none of those fantasies came close to this.

I wasn't sure how long this kiss lasted, I was only aware of the feel of Justin's lips on mine, and his hands on my body, tracing my waist, hugging me tightly. When we finally broke apart, we were both breathing heavily. Our eyes met, his filled with something I was afraid to put a name to.

Because I felt exactly the same way.

Justin's hand stroked my face, and I covered his hand with my own. He smiled, his eyes taking in every inch of my face. I felt amazing. Justin just took my breath away.

But I still had a boyfriend.

I covered my mouth with my hand. I'm such an awful person. Because I kissed him. When I have a boyfriend.

Justin saw the look in my eyes, and knew exactly what I was thinking. "Ellen..." he warned me before I exploded. "Just remember what you came in here to do? Before we kissed?"

I breathed out. Right. I was going to break up with Ethan. Even though I felt like a cow doing so, just because I had met a popstar and had kind of fallen for him.

Should I text him? Or ring him? I didn't have the guts to wait until Los Angeles when I'll see him and Di. Di! What's she going to think? She had a crush on him before she even met him, and now here I was all over him.

"You're so uptight all the time," Justin muttered, resting his forehead against mine.

I pushed him away slightly, frowning. "What do you mean?"

He rolled his eyes. "I mean, you're always worrying about everything. The only night I've seen you actually not care about everything was the night you told me about your dad."

I winced at the reminder. "How about we don't bring that up?"

"Okay, okay, sorry."

Tentatively, I reached up to touch his face. I slowly leaned in and kissed him gently.

"Don't be sorry." I smiled slightly.

As I lay in bed that night, I realized I was way in over my head. I let myself fall too fast for Justin, but I couldn't help the way I reacted to him. I recalled what Christina had said earlier, about it only being the hormones talking for her and CJ. Somehow, I knew that it wasn't just the hormones talking for Justin and I. Sure, my body wanted him, but I wanted to be with him as well. Every instinct was pulling me towards him, even the sensible part of me. The sensible part of me that used to push Justin away, the part that used to tell me to ignore the feelings for him - even that part wanted him.

I was so caught under his spell, and hell, there was nothing I was going to do to stop it.

Chapter 10 y'all. I hope you enjoyed it ;) I did.