Feeling

Chapter Two

“You do know you're going to have to speak to me eventually, right?” said Theo, glancing up from his watch.  “It's been ten minutes and you haven't said a word yet.  Am I going to have to order in dinner for us?”

He was right;  I hadn't said a damn thing since his outburst had finished.  I'd moved and come to sit back at the table, but I was still mentally reviewing evening in my head.

What would happen if I said yes?  Best case scenario, all of the things he said would happen, my dreams would come true, and I'd live happily ever after.  Worst case scenario, I’d fail…and the thought of comic so close to my dream and not getting it back ever might actually be too much to bear.

But what if I said no?  My life would simply...continue, I guess.  I could always try to get clean on my own, go back to school, do everything he said all by myself.  But I also knew myself, and that was never going to happen.   So did I really want to be stuck like this forever?  Was this really how I pictured my life going?

He was probably right.  Maybe I was too far gone, too dependent on the Surprise.  Maybe I was nothing more than a helpless Link addict, destined to die in an alley.

No.

“So what is it that you want me to do?” I asked, clenching my fist under the table and looking up at Theo from my lap.  He raised one eyebrow questioningly at me.  “You mentioned something about me working for you...several times.  You already know the truth about what I do anyway, so it’s definitely connected to that.  It’s no use trying to hide it from you and there’s no way I’m going to turn down a deal like that.  I’m just going to treat you like one of my clients.”  I crossed my arms on the table and leaned forward a little more towards him.  “And I don’t agree to work for anybody without knowing what the job is.”

Theo smiled at me, matching my position at the table.  “You’ll know when you need to know.  But for now, you just have to trust me on this.  I need your vocal consent before I tell you anything.  Strict orders from the higher ups.”

“I’m not the type of girl to just jump in bed with someone at the drop of the hat, Theo,” I said, meeting his steady gaze.  “Give me something to go off of.  Who do you work for?  Why did you pick me?”  He ran a hand through his dark hair and sighed.  Good Lord, but he was handsome.  If I didn’t have a strict ‘no sleeping with clients’ rule…

I really shouldn’t be thinking about this.

“There are certain risks we have to take in this world, Justice.  This is one of them.”

“Stop being so fucking coy, okay?  I’m not a big risk taker.  Accept that and just give a little information.”

Theo rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest.  I copied him.  “Oh, sure, I’ll believe that.  You seem think things through all the time.  I mean, given your history of Link abuse and your criminal record, I’d be surprised if you took a risk ever.”

“Uncalculated risks, then.  I don’t take uncalculated risks,” I sneered.  Ugh, if he kept acting like this, then maybe that whole ‘attraction’ thing would go away.

“So just consider this risk calculated.  It’s a very selective job and we only need one person who can do it well.  A few dozen candidates have already been suggested and rejected; you could very well be the next rejection if it doesn’t work out.  But if you’d like all those lovely perks I mentioned earlier, all I need you to do is let us test you for qualifications right now.”  He picked up the computer case he’d walked into the room with and placed it on the table, patting the top of it softly.  “That seems pretty calculated to me, don’t you think?”