You Never Say I Love You

Complete Short Story

"Do you want something to drink, Dee? Some coffee, maybe?"

"No, I'm good. I had some on the way over. Stop pacing. Sit with me, please. I have something I need to say, Balthazar."

"Whoa. Balthazar? You're using my whole name. This must be serious."

"Stop teasing me, Baz. You asked me to marry you almost a month ago, and I want to give you my answer, but I want to say some things before I do."

"Sorry, Dee. I'm just nervous, that's all. Say what you have to say, and put me out of my misery, please."

"I'm just trying to find the right words. I mean, I've thought about it a lot, but I haven't said it out loud, so I'm afraid it won't come out right.

"Just spill, Lydia. We'll clean up any mess later with the understanding that you didn't mean to make one."

"See... that's the thing. Well, that's one of the things. That right there. In the entire two years that we've been together you always make it so easy for me to express myself. It's one of the reasons I love you so much, Baz."

"I feel like there's a 'but' coming here."

"There is, but... But it's not a bad 'but,' really."

"OK."

"It's taken me so long to give you an answer because I've been stuck on the fact that you never tell me you love me."

"Dee, we've talked about this many times."

"I know, but hear me out, Baz."

"Just because I don't say those words doesn't mean I don't. My dad said those words to my mother every time he got drunk and beat her or pissed away all the rent money or lost another job. She stayed with that guy because he said those words over and over, and my mother was so battered and broken that she allowed him to treat her that way because those words meant more to her than anything else. You know why?"

"Yes, Baz. I know why. You've told me. Because she never heard 'I love you' from anyone before your father said it."

"Yes, and if you had known my grandparents you would have known that they never said those words to us grandkids, either, but I know without a doubt that my mom's parents loved her and us. They didn't say it. They lived it, and I told myself that I'd do it like they did it."

"Some people need to hear those words, Baz."

"I learned to hate those words and everything that came with them."

"I get that, and I understand why you never say 'I love you,' and I've decided that I'm okay with that."

"Really, Dee? Because at least one or two times a month you bring to my attention that I've never said those words to you."

"That's because I was listening to my friends who told me that if you truly love me you'd have said it by now. I mean, it's been two, whole years, Baz."

"Yeah. Your friends. Please listen to what they have to say, even though none of them can sustain any type of meaningful relationship with the opposite or same sex. You tell me at least once every two weeks how one isn't talking to the other or they're not talking to their husbands or boyfriends or they're sleeping with each other's husbands and boyfriends behind each other's backs."

"You know, Baz, I wanna defend them against your accusations, but what you're saying is true. I realized all that after you asked me to marry you and they were giving me advice about what I should do."

"Oo, do tell, Dee. This should be good."

"Kill the sarcasm, Baz. It doesn't help.

"Sorry. I do wanna know what they had to say."