Fall Back On Me {Haylor}

Waiting List-Chapter 34

Chapter 34

From what I've gathered, I do have cancer but thankfully, the organs that do have the disease are transplantable and it hasn't spread to other regions yet. I've been lucky to come when I did, so they've gushed. The only thing now comes from the waiting list, when I'll be able to find organs that have my same blood type, it being O+ and all. It's pretty rare to have that type of blood and to find someone around my size would be nearly impossible. Nevertheless, i was placed on the waiting list and sent home.

We were obviously pretty devastated when the news broke, I mean I had talked to Harry about the possibilities and this was the strongest to both of us. We had anticipated the worst but hoped for the best, and it was our anticipation that best out hope. When they had explained the concept in full, it definitely made it easier. As long as the list shortens up by the time it takes to spread, we'll be fine. I think... hopefully. As much as the hope may carry, it won't blot out the impeccable chances that everything will be okay. The odds are so against us considering I'll not only find a person with the right blood type who's my same size and overcome the lengthy waiting list to even be considered. All before the spots spread. The chances of all that are slim to none.

Harry has absolutely gone out of his way to make my life otherwise perfect this week. Between hospital visits, Harry takes me to the tree in the morning after a poorly cooked breakfast, a picnic in the field then swimming at night. I'm not the only one who has noticed my weakening composure, Harry has assured consistently that I am eating and not hurting myself. As much as that would feel as a release from the stress, I don't think I have the strength to. The only thing that can keep up my strength is eating and if I stop that then I'm afraid I'll just fizzle out.

I'm scheduled to have my next examination tomorrow up at the hospital, one that should tell us our potential donors. Usually the recepients aren't notified on who their donor is, or was. The person who I will be transplanted from will most likely be deceased, to be living would be awful hard to live without those. I really would like to know the backstory on the person who would be getting me through this situation. Like what happened to them and what they were like, I just would like to thank their families if it was their decision or even if it was theirs.

Harrys' hand skims around my palm and I look up from the recap of the past week in my mind. He traces it up my arm to my cheek and runs his thumb over my lips lightly.

"What are you thinking about?" He asks even though he knows the answer. When is this not on my mind lately? Both of our minds anyway, Harry must be in torture to hear of the chances daily. The situation has only drawn us closer though, we're so much more grateful for our time together now that it's being threatened. Harry has taken time off, signing it as family emergency and leaving it to managements decision to kick him out if they want to. He's made it blantantly clear that he is not leaving me while I'm sick and I cannot be happier. Of course I don't want him to get kicked out of the band or get in trouble but I am thankful he would do such a thing when I'm in need. If I didn't have Harry, I probably would just give up and let the sickness take its course. He makes it worth while, and I've told him that time and time again.

"You know." I say simply, watching as his eyes flick around my face in the dark. A lantern is the only other light besides the moon but it illuminates us just enough. He places his hands on either side of my waist and backs me up until I'm against the dock, the water lapping up at my bathingsuit.

"You gotta quit doubting yourself," He says softly.

"You know the odds aren't with us and how can I not think about eminent death.." My words fumble out my mouth before I can think then through, something that's not usually natural of me to do. I usually take pride in thinking through my thoughts before giving an answer.

Harry sounds like he just got the breath knocked out of him. "Babe, you're going to get through this. I pull weight around being famous, I'll get you a donor even if it kills me." he stares directly at me as he continues before nuzzling his head into my neck and murmuring, "I love you so much, do you know that?"

I sigh and wrap my arms around his neck, letting my eyes close. If I don't get any more time on earth, I want heaven to look and feel just like this. A perfect moment to say the least, just here intoxicated by anything and everything Harry Styles.

"I know... I know you do. I love you too. Just promise me that nothing will change between us, don't treat me any different just because of this." I whisper hoarsely as he continuously presses his lips against my neck. He glances up with that infamous lopsided grin that can drive you insane.

"Never." He rasps before matching his lips over mine. The kiss is heated from the start, one packed with every intense emotion that has been building up inside me for the past few weeks. The pain, sadness, regret, heartache, sickness, everything. All of it just expels itself in the moment of this passionate kiss. I can feel Harrys' desperation, clinging onto every end of one kiss which only led to another. He had no intention of letting me go and to be honest, I had no intention of letting him go either. I longed for this, to just release my built up depression and just take it out in the best possible way. Harry is that excess vent of emotions aside from the letters, the songwriting, the thinking in general. He is what keeps me balanced and without him I would be uneven. He is solely what's keeping me going right now and I will win this fight because I know that he's with me. If I have to fight for our future, I'd wage war.

••A/N
Short chapter sorry!