Poems and thoughts

Our Past

Sometimes when you look at your past, you feel proud.

Other times you feel ashamed.

But a lot of times,  you just want to runway from your past.

You feel suffocated because of what you've done. You want to forget it and fast.

You wish to leave it, to never look back, to be away, to run, and to be far.

If there was a thing to take me back  in time to erase me faults and start over, even if it were to pay my life, I'd do it without hesitation.

To correct my life for the sake of Allah then to be good to others.

I now realize that what burned me was what I used to love so much, praising it like a star.

I pushed the thought of it burning me away and went closer and closer to it and when it was placed in the palm of my hand, I realized it's invisible blazing heat.

It left a mark there no cream or makeup could cover or beat.

That's what our past is like. A scar left in our history, never erasable, never coverable.  

I thought doing that merge of faults, desires and a bit of right was great, not that sinful, not that bad, and not harmful to me nor to others, but I later realized that it's impossible to be any pleasure close to the anger of Allah.  

No, by Allah! It's not a pleasure, but rather a torture.

But your past is your past, it's part of you. Can you leave you?

No! It's impossible. Our past is what makes us. We can't leave it. It was destiny that was written.

But I've figured out that we don't have to go back to change thing because we can change us while we're right here.

Allah opened the door to repentance for a reason. He opened it for the sinners to repent because sinners we all are,

So we all should repent. Whether our sin was out of ignorance or weakness of Eman, never give up on the mercy of Allah. For the door of repentance is gift and from Allah it was sent.

Know and believe that He is the Most Merciful the creator of Paradise, so be hopeful. And know that He is the Most Powerful the creator of hellfire, so fear.

Don't let the shaytan trick you into thinking that you are reined and never forgiven.

As long as you fear Allah, regret your mistake, stop it's act, and repented to Him, have hope, for repentance is a door to heaven.

Your past is your past, you can't change it, you can't forget about it,
but you can deal with it to a better you.

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أه! يا ماضينا!

The poem says more than enough. I don't need to go any farther into my thoughts or description.  I'd be burning myself if I did.

But I can tell you that when you oppress anyone (for, anything done wrong agonist others is oppression, even if it was yourself. And the wrong is what Allah have made wrong, besides that, it's either obedience of Allah or just normal things {which could also be turned to an act of worship, like intending to sleep early so that to wake up early to pray, or eat so that you'd have the strength to worship Allah, etc,. {and the worship of Allah is by doing what He ordered you to do and forbidding what He made forbidden), keep that oppression between you and them. Don't go around spreading your faults to others who have nothing to do with it. Allah have made your faults out of people's knowledge and it should stay like that. It's a mercy from Him and you should save it. Don't torture yourself any farther, you have no right. Unless you need advice and help, then than that'd be necessary, otherwise if you don't ask, you wouldn't learn.     

And not learning leads to ignorance, which leads to faults and sins, may Allah save us.

Knowledge is a gift of mercy. 💝

February 8, 2017