Did he love me or not?

Do you think he loved me?

-Before I start rambling, I want to apologize for grammar mistakes. Because I was writing so fast while my memories were rushing down all at once in my brain, I couldn't pay attention to the mistakes.-

-Have you ever had a guy look at you like you have found the cure to cancer? Like you are the only person that has all the answers in the world? Like you are the smartest, most unique, best person he's ever met. Well I have. And trust me I was so shocked at the fact that he did, because I'm none of that. I'm just a simple, plain girl, with her head in the books most of the time, trying to study hard and think about my future and not boys and stuff. Yeah you get it right? I was the class president. Yeah, exactly that type of girl that you're thinking of. Studious, always reading or learning or explaining homeworks to someone. He, on the other hand, was so gorgeous. Like really, really gorgeous. The type of gorgeous that makes you stare, even though I never did of course. He was taller than me, broad shoulders, big brown eyes- almost black, big plump lips, red also, more so than most of my girl friends' lips. He was hot, and adorable at the same time. Just beautiful, ok? Now I know I sound like some concieted fangirl, but that gorgeousness of his didn't get to me at first. I simply didn't care, he was just another guy, that I thought was too aware of the effect he had on girls. Actually this might have been the reason why I was so shocked when I discovered that he was actually polite, and caring and a very good person. He actually listened to people, helped everyone he could.

Now that I'm more mature and can actually think about this without being biased, that was when it all started, when I started to know him better and simply felt speechless when I realized that he was not the jerk I prejudged him to be. We were good friends for a while, everyone in my class was a good friend. Then we got to know each-other better, know the movies/songs/food/family stuff/friends we each liked or disliked, simply our personalities, and what shocked me the most were the moments when we were talking with other friends/classmates and he would actually say exactly what I was thinking. Sometimes even the words I wanted to say. Those were the moments when I simply stared at him in disbelief, even though the conversation kept going and he didn't even notice I was left dumbstruck.

We had a really good friendship, with everyone, but also the two of us on our own. He was seated on the desk in front of me, I was on the second one, middle row. We always joked around, when I talked to him I felt like I didn't even need to think, and trust me I was a THINKER. I usually teased him about everything, especially since everyone seemed to swoon at him, I just liked to hurt his ego a little bit, playfully. We even had inside jokes. But of course I never saw something wrong in this. I thought he was just another good friend. If only I had known that he would be the first to break my heart, without even being aware of what he was doing...*sigh*.