Christmas
Katulad ng plano ko, hindi ko sinabi ang nangyari kahit kanino. Nagmukmok lamang ako sa aking kwarto nung Linggo.
Now it's Monday again. We still have a week before Christmas vacation and I don't know kung paano ko iiwasan ang mga pinsan ko. I'm scared if they looked within my eyes they might know something is off.
Oras na ng pagligo pero hindi ko magawang bumangon. Ang bigat ng katawan ko ay kasing bigat ng nararamdaman ko. Na kahit anong pagpipilit kong lumimot ay di ko magawa.
How do I runaway from the things inside my head? Oh come on, Traiva. You are not weak just because your heart feels so heavy. You need courage to get out the bed each morning to face the same things over and over. You don't have any other choice but to face it!
We're on the car when Kuya Travis noticed my silence. I'm not in the mood to talk.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"Nothing."
"PMS?" kulit niya.
"Yeah." bahala na kung anong isipin mo, Kuya. Ayokong magsalita at baka may masabing hindi dapat.
My phone vibrates at tiningnan ang mensahe.
09xxxxxxxxx:
Good morning, Traiva. This is Jin and my new number. How are you?
Ako:
I'm fine, Jin. Thank you for your help.
After sending a reply. I saved his number and deleted the old one.
Nang sumapit ang alas dose, parang walang balak umalis ang aking katawan sa upuan. Hindi ako nagugutom kaya sinilip ko n alang ang phone ko and I saw Jin's message.
Jin:
I'm outside your school. Why don't we have lunch together? :)
Bigla akong napatayo. He's here? College na siya, ah? Ang university na pinapasukan niya ay pareho ng kay Feyrah at medyo malayo iyon dito. Why is he here?
Ako:
What? Wait for me at the gate.
Lakad takbo ang ginawa ko. Ang laki naman kasi ng school na 'to, ngunit nasa field pa lang ako nakita ko na ang kanyang chinitong mga mata. He's holding a big paperbag, pero may mga dahon-dahon ito sa taas.
Nagpasya kaming mag-lunch sa isang restaurant sa loob ng school at pinili ko ay sa isang hindi gaanong matao. Si Jin na rin ang nag-order ng pagkain.
Nakatingin lamang siya sa akin tila sinusuri ang bawat ekspresyon ng aking mukha. He's on his school uniform. A chinito guy wearing a black rimmed eye-glasses. His look right now is definitely the perfect definition of a good boy.
"I told you, I'm fine " ngiti ko sa kanya habang kumakain ng kaunti sa inorder niyang grilled beef steak with vegetables.
"That's the most common lie."
"Jin, I'm already okay." or trying to be okay.
"You don't look okay, though " nag-iwas na lang ako ng tingin.
"You don't have class?" pag-iiba ko ng topic. Obviously my pasok siya, naka-uniform, Traiva!
"Later. 3 p.m."
Ilang sandali pa kaming nag usap at nang matapos kumain ay kinuha niya ang paper bag na dala at nilabas doon ang maliit na bouquet ng light pink roses.
"I hope this can help." at binigay ito sa akin.
Tinanggap ko iyon at tinignan. Bright and beautiful to be hold, I smiled a little. These flowers gave me at least a bright spot today.
