MASSIVE TRIGGER WARNING
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I see you
Trembling under your covers,
You beg for
The screams to fade away.
They never do
You should know by now, baby
Your life will never change
I know where you've hid them all,
All your beautiful babies
You buried them in drawers
In books, in cases, in your clothes
You hide them in your eyes
I find them in your ribs and your mind.
Baby, let go
You can't stand the trembling anymore
You want to feel something different.
Your mind screams no
But they're drowned out by your mother's scream of
FUCK YOU
Fingers pick up your secret
Your precious project
Your other hand grips rags
You know this won't be like any other night
There's too much unknown in you
You sit up, your shield falling to the bed
You know it's time to fall apart
You were broken anyways
Ringing silence
You look at the door, wondering
Hoping
Someone will come save you
You aren't getting it, no one's there
You try to shake off
The demon in your head.
It's cold against your skin
As it lays down a biting kiss.
You savor the way your skin opens
It slits apart like paper
You cut like clockwork
Straight lines tell your story, in a brand new
Perspective
Tears roll off from your wrist
Dark, bloody, and hot
They keep falling rapidly to your lap
Your own tears fall
You didn't see, you were blinded by desperation
You cut your own vein tonight
The night begins to fade
Rags to rage
You refuse to help yourself tonight
Lying onto your deathbed
Close your eyes and wish me goodnight
I love you, a whisper
The fight downstairs is silent
Dawn shamefully raises her head
She stares at your lifeless body
She cannot comprehend,
The smile on your face
A smile
You haven't worn one in years
Death cradled you tenderly
Until your parents find you
A scream that wakes the earth
Your father cries
In your hand they found your secret
It's blood soaked and razor sharp
Your secret, my baby
Is a blade
And beyond that
Your secret was guided by something
Dark and sad
It was your own desire to die
Fed by unhappiness
Fed by loneliness
Fed by the world around you
But for once there's a smile on your lips
This was all you wanted
YOU ARE READING
Mellifluous Vignettes
PoetryVolume VI of poetry. Still sad, still beautiful. Topics include depression, eating disorders, and wanting to give up.
