The blind son of Artemis

The Alien Fangirl (Can you Relate?)

 In the end, we didn't learn its secrets to cheek stuffing, we only learned the pain of getting an acorn thrown in your nostril, and man did that chipmunk have aim.

Anyway, so I went to sleep, dreamt of talking chipmunks, acorn eating donuts, and weirdly, screaming pies. Don't know where that came from.

I woke up to Poseidon's tongue licking my face and ripping the bandage on my nose off. Screaming 'woof woof' and bouncing on my stomach, he woke me up with a great big, "GWAAHWAAHWAH!" on my part. I promptly fell out of my bed and kissed the floor with breathtaking grace and poise. From the thumps I heard, it appeared that my two companions that just happened to not be furry animals, imitated my actions, although with less grace and poise obviously. No one can correctly imitate me.

It seems that Poseidon was more of a gluten than I thought.

" Poseidon you evil dog, just what do you think you were doing, bouncing on me at.." I looked at the clock on my bedside and nearly choked and died from my own spit, "Five o'clock in the morning! Are you crazy?! Why didn't you wake me earlier! I was supposed to be at the arena at 4!"

Poseidon gave me a weird look.

" Yes I know that the contest only starts when everyone is awake and knowing this camp it would be well beyond noon when that happens, but I want to be early. Even earlier than early! So I can make sure that everything is perfect. And scare some people while I'm at it."

Poseidon walked away. I really don't get why by now he should be used to my unusual reasons. Do you think they're unusual? I didn't think so.

I walked to my 'wardrobe' (a chair containing over half my clothes) and picked a black shirt and a pair of denim jeans that seemed clean enough, not that it would matter anyway. I could just make it look nice and smell good, then wash it later.

"Come on, Poseidon. 'Tis time, comrade, to face the one who dareth challenge us to the contest of the eating of pie!"

And thus our two heroes bravely placed their right feet out the door of their disorganized room to face certain defeat.

Yet still, in the face of the inevitable, our heroes gathered up their courage and readied their small stoma-

"What in the guacamole?!" I screeched, (though if you ask me it was a very manly screech), "Chaos?! Order?! HOW DARE YOU MAKE YOUR VOICES APPEAR OUT OF LITERALLY NOWHERE AND SCARE THE LIVING DAYLIGHT, or moonlight really? Doesn't it make more sense to call it moonlight seeing as my mother is the goddess of the moon? Or maybe I shouldn't, seeing as she did nothing but try to kill me the moment she found out......"

THIRD PERSON POV

After hearing Percy scream (Not very manly in their opinion), they ran into Percy's room to save him from whatever decided to woo him, only to walk into a full on 'Percy lecture'. Now there's ADHD, and then there's PADHD (Percy's Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder). The primary difference is that the latter is a magnified version of the first tenfold.

Nico and Jason felt their palms unconsciously hit their foreheads. Anyone would have done so, seeing their best friend talk about the most ridiculous thing to reason the most absurd theory. Observe.

"...... and so if you put more flour into a pizza dough it would resemble a moon more than a sun, but if you coat the pizza dough in egg yolk........ it would make sense if a bear was related to a beaver seeing as the number of whiskers on a bear's right cheek is 2x as long as a beaver's left cheek whiskers and if we compare the size of the tails...... that's why Hitler decided to kill the non-catholic-germans, and this relates to the making of croissants because they happened as an experiment which differs from how chocolate chip cookies were made seeing as they happened by accident and croissants were an experiment..... And therefor......wait, what were we talking about?"

Jason and Nico honestly thought that their foreheads could not have gotten sorer, but you know, nothing's impossible, except probably getting Percy to stop lecturing about how World War II was connected to the making of chocolate chip cookies. It was probably the 13th time Nico had heard Percy putting that reasoning in his theories. He shuddered to think of the previous times he'd caught Percy in his 'lecturing mode'.

"Percy!" A good trick to get Percy distracted from his lecture is to pretend you know nothing and make up some emergency reason for you coming there, though it's not guaranteed to work. "What's going on? Who attacked?" Nico demanded. "Was it Percha? Or was it that creepy chameleon that decided that the two of you were relatives?" Percha was an alien fangirl that seemed to find Percy wherever he went. She was sorely convinced that the two of them were meant to be.

"I heard my name." An orange humanoid with a scaly tail said after appearing on Percy's bed, "Percy, my love, how do you do? Are you finally done being in denial and realized we're meant to be? I just knew this would happen sooner rather than later. I love you."

Percy gave out a shrill scream and ran from the room flailing his arms about and Nico took it upon himself to snap his fingers and make Percha go back to whatever planet she came from. No one was exactly sure where, but the concept still works. "Go back to wherever you came from," that is.

"Percy! The coast is clear! No alien fangirls in sight!" Jason shouted, "You can come back now! She's gone!"

"No! She's just hiding! She'll come back. You just see!" Came the response. "And I do not want to be there when she does! She's creepier than the creepy chameleon!"

"Dude, Percha isn't goi-"

"I heard my name."