- 1 week earlier -
ashlynn paced nervously in her bedroom, waiting anxiously for her roommate to gather her things and leave. ashlynn was still a bit freaked out by her dream she had the other night. she should've known; she'd never reach out to someone like that. nevermind tyler.
but, it did spark something in her when she thought of finally reaching out. she bit on her nails, almost to the point of them breaking off. she finally heard the comforting opening and shutting of the front door, then the lock. finally, peace.
she glanced over at her easel, pristine and unbattered. she'd never admit it, but she never really had her own ideas. she'd trace, or copy and they weren't ever even that good. of course, josh told her about how they used "her" painting for the band, which josh ironically wasn't in at the time. the days when twenty one pilots were three, and not josh.
she copied that picture; it was actually painted apparently by one of cassandra's friends. she kept it from college when cassandra left it at ashlynn's dorm, and even after cassandra told her she didn't make it, she kept it. as a memoir, one could say.
ashlynn gazed at tyler's contact embedded in her phone, her thumb hovering over, then backing away, then hovering. would he even be willing to help her? her roommate was away once again, and ashlynn had told her long ago that she didn't need any help. tyler was the only one left.
she finally, in one quick motion, hit the small phone option and held the phone to her ear. her nails were still clenched between her teeth, and she was trembling. why couldn't it be as easy as it was in the dream?
"sup ash?" good, he was laid back. does that mean he's available right now? she figured she'd go about it the way she had in the dream since that seemed to work.
"uh, hey, are you free in like, a few hours or something?" she questioned. her voice was much shakier than it was in the dream.
"i think so, yeah. why?" she heard rustling, probably him moving around in his seat or walking or something.
"um.. are you alone right now?" she almost whispered, as if fearing the neighbors would eavesdrop through the thick wall.
"uh.. yeah? is something wrong?" tyler's voice seemed more alert now.
"no, no- well, kind of- i just, i need a favor. well, not a favor, just help with something," she rushed, "but you can't tell anyone. you're actually the only one that knows-"
"look, ashlynn, i'm sorry, but i can't do that to jenna, and i know you love josh, and i wouldn't-"
"no no no no no no!" she interrupted him quickly. "it's nothing like that. i love josh; i wouldn't- anyways, um.." her voice trailed. "remember my those websites you found on my laptop a while back?" i whispered into the phone.
"yeah, what about them?" it seemed to take a minute for tyler to realize what she was trying to say. "oh. oh god... you still... i thought it was just a phase as you said..." tyler's voice was matching mine, except his was filled with shock. just what i didn't want.
"i was doing really well for a long time, then josh came back, a-and i started wanting to look good for him, and now i'm relying on the sites again, and i-i really want to stop but i just c-can't." ashlynn tried to contain herself from crying. "i just want help..." she sobbed.
"yes! that's the first step, realization. i read that one a website once." tyler was truly happy she had reached out to him, while she, on the other hand, was ashamed of herself.
"listen to me; you can't be embarrassed about it, okay? if you're just open we can get you better much faster." tyler explained. the rustling intensified and was accompanied by some keys jingling.
"we? wait, tyler, are you coming over right now? oh, ty, i wasn't thinking right now- actually, i don't think i need-" her pacing quickened, she was basically doing suicide sprints across the living room.
"yeah, is that okay? actually, it doesn't matter if it's okay. i'm coming over. also, you do need this. i'm not letting my best friend's girlfriend die on me." before she could say anything else, the white tone rung, meaning he hung up.
"alright then..." she sighed out, tossing her phone onto the couch. it missed, to her luck, landing face down on the floor. she didn't bother checking if it was, it was probably fine. little did she know, the decision to pick up wasn't too smart of her.
in a matter of minutes, tyler was inviting himself inside of her apartment. how polite.
"well hello to you too," she sarcastically muttered as she ran to keep up with him. he stood in the center of her living room and stared at her as if expecting something.
"well," tyler began, "i read up on this stuff a while ago. i was gonna try and help, then you know, we had to leave." tyler lowered himself to the floor, criss-cross style. he patted the spot in front of him with a small smile playing on his face.
"really? the floor?" she raised an eyebrow at him and crossed her arms over her chest, standing in front of him. when he just looked up at her in response, she rolled her eyes and made an inhumane groan as she matched his position.
"anyways, i read up on things, and i came across that a good place to begin is sharing your story." tyler explained.
"my story?" she raised an unimpressed eyebrow.
"you know, what makes you, you. and not just regarding the... problem?" his tone was questioning, as if asking for permission. of course, it was a 'problem.' she hated calling it so, but she knew she had to.
"what if my 'problem,'" she made sure to use air quotations around the word, "doesn't have a story?"
"it has to have a story. everything has a story. even if it's 4 words long." tyler repositioned himself, so his elbows were on his knees, ready to listen.
"okay then, my story goes as follows;" she cleared her throat and sat up straight, "there is no story." she profoundly told. "the end." she knew very well that was wrong, but she was in denial. the 1st of the 5 stages of any problem: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. she's recognized the fact she has a 'problem,' but she's still going through the stages. strange.
"i'm serious." tyler's tone kind of scared her; it was the only time she'd heard him being completely serious, aside from when he first discovered her 'problem.' "you know there's a story."
"okay." ashlynn groaned. "i guess there could be."
"there you go! go as slow as you want, stop if you really have to."
"i don't know exactly when it started, but stay with me here..."
|-/ |-/ |-/ |-/
