The Worst Dandy Fanfic Ever

Part 1

Andrew woke up, his cringey 2007 emo bangs covering his eyes, temporarily blinding him. It was his first day at a new school, know as Retrogradewastheworstalbum High School. He was not very enthusiastic. That was for many reasons. First of all, he had a large list of mental illnesses that the author is unaware of but will still include them. Secondly, his dad would be waiting for him when he awoke, even though in all actuality he had left Andrew at a young age.

"ANDREW, GET UP YOU PATHETIC MEXICAN!" His dad roared. Andrew immediately burst into tears. He then rose from his bed to get dressed. He put on Converse™, the type of skinny jeans only 12-year-old scene kids wear, and a Slipknot shirt, because he just wanted to be bullied.

Andrew exited his room to see his dad on the couch, staring at the TV with a blank face. He must have been watching golf. That's the face all dads make when they watch golf.

"YOU'RE WEAK!" His father yelled at him. Andrew ran into the kitchen, sobbing intensely. In the kitchen stood his mother, who did nothing at all to stop the abuse her son faced. "Eat quickly, Andy! You're going to be late for school!" She chirped in a way-too-perky tone. Andrew groaned in an edgy manner and went to grab the most emo of cereals, Froot Loops.

Andrew poured the cereal, then the milk, and devoured it all within seconds. "I'm ready to go!" He said, though he had forgotten to brush his teeth, shower, and perform other necessary hygienic functions. "Alright," said his mom, who also failed to take notice of her son's poor hygiene.

The two walked out to the car, which was the type all Mexicans drove, a Toyota Camry. They got in and began driving. "I'm so excited for you!" Andy's mom piped up. Andy only frowned. "Yeah, whatever," he grunted.

They soon arrived at Retrogradewastheworstalbum High School, where Andy could already foresee his future of purple nurples, wet willies, and other forms of teasing that were also common in the third grade.

Andy exited the car and began walking towards the menacing building. His mom quickly drove off, not uttering a single farewell to her son. Andy gulped, and walked through the front door.

Children were being beat up left and right, and no adults were intervening. A small blond boy was punched in the eye, another small ginger boy was kicked in the teeth, and an equally small brunette was pushed down the stairs. All of the victims were small and vulnerable, just like Andy.

The Mexican hurried quickly to retrieve his schedule from the office, but was quickly stopped by one of the bullies. His name was Ronnie Radke, though that's not all important. Also, the man named Ronnie was over ten years older than Andy, and should not have been in high school, but for the sake of the story, he was.

Andy almost cried at the sight of the man. Ronnie would likely beat him harder than he beat his girlfriend in 2012.

The significantly older male drew closer to Andy, who instead of running or calling for help, decided to stand there. Ronnie raised his heavily-tattooed fist to punch the smaller boy, but before he could, was tackled.

Andy looked down to see who had saved him from a definite beating, and saw none other than a muscular man. The new man was now viciously beating Ronnie.

The man stood up as the paramedics began pulling Ronnie away. He extended his hand towards the Mexican child. "Hello," the oddly sweaty male said, "my name is David Escamilla."