Idiosyncrasies of a Shadow // (ManxMan)

~Chapter 3~

[Roman]

*~*~*

I am a shadow.

I am one that was never meant to exist, but

I still do.

I see, but was never seen,

I love, but was never loved.

I crave to be cared for.

I wish, that one day;

I would have someone look behind them. And see that –

I am not just a shadow.

*~*~*

"I want a... French braid!" Paris giggles, positioning herself between my legs and patting my chest eagerly.

With a kiss to her forehead I turn her around and start taking her hair in my hands and doing it up in a tight braid. I look at the post card on the table.

Dear Paris,

Japan is really fun! I hope we can bring you here some time! We sent a box of sweets and a hello kitty plus. Hope you like them.

Love,

Mama and Paps

I read the letter out with a clenching pain in my heart. Maybe I'm 26 and I'm independent, but the least a parent can do is acknowledge me as your child. But no, I'm not their 'ideal' kid. Whatever, idealism means in their heads. Perhaps just the fact that I'm not a planned child.

Therefore, I get no mention.

"OH! You can have this one." I take the small box of dark chocolate, "You like it, right?"

No, I like milk chocolate.

"Thank you. Now get ready to go to school, we are taking the long way today." I wrap the pink hair band around the bottom of the braid.

I only say it because I don't want you to taste the bitter.

~

I notice something has changed about Paris' school since last week, there are balloons and decorations splattered across the grass fields and the interior of the school. Quite a grand event happening I would assume.

"Paris?" I ask looking her hand that's holding my index finger. Her attention turns to me, I kneel down so my eyes are somewhat level with her. "Do you like the school?"

She's only recently swapped schools, even though its way more expensive than her old one, she didn't enjoy her old school. Therefore, it is up to me to transfer her, instead of the pair of parents who do nothing good for their children. I might as well take full custody of Paris if I'm being honest.

"Yeah! My teacher is so nice! He gives me the strawberry stickers whenever I do my homework well!" Her giggle tells me only truth is coming from her. I let my resolve thin at the sight of my baby sister being so happy. We are 23 years apart, but that doesn't stop me from being a big brother, I really try my hardest but sometimes, cynicism takes the cake.

My heart aches whenever she smiles. I can make her giggle and smile, but she will never laugh as much as the time she had spent with her parents.

I am, after all, just a mistake.

"Good. Now go and have fun." I pat her arm lightly.

"Good morning Paris! How are you?" It is the same teacher from last weekend. Short, very tiny. He looks... weak.