Tell Me I'm Different (Finished!)

(15) Release Me

Ace drew his knees near his chest and secured his arms tightly around his naked body, trying to make himself as small as possible. His hands grazed along the waterline of the now tepid water. It had been boiling hot just a while ago, he thought to himself. How long had it been? 30 minutes? An hour?

What had he missed in that hour?

Ace shook his head sadly, sending beads of water off his damp hair splashing onto the ceramic tub. This was exactly what he wasn’t supposed to do. Over think things. This is what got him here in the first place, but ironically this was the only thing he was doing here. He released one arm from his grasp, reached outside of the tub, and pulled a long cigarette from the carton of Camels on the green bathmat. It was a little damp, but it would do. He stuck the cancer stick in his mouth and reached for his purple bic lighter that lay next to his cigarettes with the same hand.

He lit his cigarette and watched as the flames engulfed the paper. Ace closed his eyes and inhaled the cancerous smoke. He leaned his back against the cold ceramic tub and marveled in the calming silence, the only noise that graced his ears was the water swirling against him every time he moved.

Ace flicked off the end of his cigarette and watched as the dark grey ashes landed in the clear water of his bath. Ace had never been one for baths, he had always enjoyed quick, steaming showers, but a lot had changed since he got here. Here being Crescent Springs Rehabilitation Center. The therapists told him it was okay to slow down instead of always being in a hurry. There was no race in life.

At first, Ace didn’t buy into this bullshit. Wasn’t it Darwin or someone that said it was the survival of the fittest? And weren’t the fittest humans the strongest, smartest, and fastest? Not to mention, the most powerful. Ace loved power. He never knew he loved power, but he did. That’s apparently why he had done everything he had. He fucked over girls because of the power his good looks gave him. He always assumed he was better than everyone else because of his money, because of the way people looked at him. He always assumed he was the most powerful.

And that’s why he dealt. He had a power over people. He was in control. And that’s why he went stark-raving mad when his mother left, because he didn’t have any power over that and he never would.

Ace’s thoughts were interrupted by two piercing knocks on the door.

“Ace you almost done in there?” rang Brenda’s shrill voice, one of Crescent Spring’s most annoying attendants.

He could practically see her cheery, chipmunk face through the thin, white door.

“Give me a sec,” he replied rather grumpily.

“Okay, hurry!”

“Your dad is waiting!” she added a few seconds later.

The thought of being released today should’ve excited Ace, after all he had spent a month basically living in solitude, but he felt nothing, maybe even a hint of sadness. It sounded downright stupid to him, but without Crescent Springs he didn’t know what to do. He always had a knack of getting himself in deep shit for no reason, and the one time in his life where he was actually getting better was here. And he was leaving today. The thought angered him so much; Ace didn’t notice the cigarette burning in his fingers. He quickly dipped it into the water and rose lethargically from the tub.

He didn’t even bother to dry himself off and instead went straight to the towel rack where his light blue sweatpants and matching tee-shirt hung. Ace tried not to show any signs of displeasure, but it was hard when the uniform was both ugly and made out of polyester.

He quickly threw them on and walked past the mirror. He tried hard not to look at his reflection, but he caught a glimpse of himself. Ace winced. He looked like a caveman, seriously. The rehab didn’t allow razors until level 5 and they never had any of Ace’s expensive styling gels.