Misunderstood (Yuri Plisetsky x reader)

Chapter 3

Your p.o.v

This chapter mentions light anxiety/ depressing thoughts which may be a sensitive topic for some.
( I thankfully don't have anxiety or depression but to those who do continue your fight. You're strong and worth more than you think.)

I walked down the busy streets of the unfamiliar town, excited to explore either on my own or with Yuri if I could convince him.

I anxiously walked towards the Italian style bistro, nervously awaiting how our encounter would go. I prayed that it wouldn't be awkward and it would be like old times, but I knew it most likely wouldn't be, and then I started to think.

I became lost in thoughts of Yuri and Aiko, and suddenly they blurred and morphed.

Suddenly thoughts of everything in my life flashed in my head, my thoughts overwhelming me and making me feel weak.

It scared me, it stressed me out, and no one was here to help, I was alone, and it was getting dark despite the time being early afternoon.

I locked my knees not wanting to make a scene like I always do, but I eventually slumped down on a wall and breathed in and out. Anxiety sucks.

Eventually I closed my eyes, my heavy sweatshirt/jacket protecting me from the wind.

I put up my hood and closed my eyes, letting darkness comfort me as there was no one else around who would.

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I felt warmth around my shoulders and on the left side of my head, and started to panic, not knowing what it was.

My tensed muscles relaxed when I saw Yuri leaning his head against mine and his arm wrapped around my shoulders.

I saw his delicate but rough features asleep and unaware as his chest heaved up and down in a pattern, until his eyes fluttered open.

"Hey sleepyhead, what's up?"

"The sky.." He said half asleep, still managing to smirk with pride.

"How did you find me?"

"You're always early and when you didn't show up at the bistro I waited 30 minutes, expecting a text from you, but it never came. I got worried so I scanned the streets, eventually finding you here. I then assumed you were either really sick or you had a panic attack, so I rushed over here and gave you all of the comfort I could." He said with a caring face.

"Thanks, it was just, my thoughts got the best of me I guess... I may have moderate anxiety but I don't suffer as much as some people." I said leaning my head on his shoulder.

I breathed steadily as I asked the dreaded question, my body tensing.

"Why did you leave me? I know it was to trai, but I cant help wondering if it was something more?"

"Truth is, even though Russia has prestige coaches and training programs, it was getting to me, and it couldn't be fixed by anyone, not even you. I left because of the people, everyone was awful to me and treated me like I was shit. I thought they were at least my friends, but eventually I lost the last of my hope and trust. I wanted a new start, I wanted to be around people who didn't know me. Eventually, I decided before I arrived in Russia I would shut myself off so no one would hurt or affect me. I eventually became a jerk, I guess I turned in to the people who made me leave." He said, leaving only silence afterwards.

"I'm sorry y/n, but no one could fix it, and there was so much possibility in Russia."

He finally concluded while staring at the cement, not wanting to see my reaction or disappointment.

"I just wanted to tell you that, and I'm sorry, but I'm not letting anyone get hurt including myself." And with that he put on a stone cold expression,stood up, and walked away as of nothing had ever happened, leaving me shocked and numb.

He entered my life again just to tell me he's "protecting" everyone from being hurt by leaving.

I started to cry, not knowing what to feel, but I thought we could have new beginnings. I thought we could mend our once beautiful friendship.

It hurt so much, he left me with no remorse, and now I questioned myself.

Why would he leave me?

Why do people leave things behind?

People leave behind things they don't need anymore.

He left me because he didn't need me anymore.

He left me because I am useless.