Secret Lovers (A Nalu Fan-Fic)

Chapter 55: Dejection

"How many times are you going to sneeze today?" Gajeel glares at me during physics.

"Sorry," I mumble, my nose itching for another sneeze.

"How did you get so sick all of a sudden?" Levy questions while giving me a curious look.

"I was outside last night for a while," I explain.

However, a while is an understatement. After the confrontation with Natsu, my legs simply wouldn't bring me home.

Instead of going straight home and falling asleep to block my thoughts like normal, I wandered throughout Magnolia until there wasn't a single person outside with me.

I didn't cry; I didn't whine; I didn't speak.

All I did was walk.

My legs were burning, my hands were frozen, and the air seemed thinner than usual.

But the pain inside of me ached the most, and it hasn't subsided once.

"Seems like you didn't sleep much either," Gajeel mentions.

"Yeah," I reply plainly, being able to feel the bags under my eyes.

"Is everything okay?" Levy asks softly.

The look in Levy's light hazel eyes are so filled with concern, I feel another lump enter my throat.

"I don't want to talk about it yet," I whisper with a shake of my head.

"Tell us when you're ready then," she replies, using an encouraging tone. "We'll always be here for you, don't forget that."

I smile slightly at her efforts to comfort me. "Thanks, Levy."

And with the smile quickly fading away, I return to my work.

There's a dark cloud following me wherever I go. I'm stuck with my thoughts.

Smiles have started to become forced, laughter isn't coming so naturally anymore, and sleep is the only thing keeping me sane. And even then, I can feel insomnia creeping up on me.

Randomly waking up at three in the morning and thinking of every possible thing I could have done right with Natsu has become a nightly routine.

Every day, I dread going to English. If it isn't for Gajeel always walking behind me, I would probably never go inside the classroom.

I mentally thank Natsu that I don't have to face him during class. Having my back to him helps me a lot more than I thought it would. Though, when he passes by my desk, I hold my breath until he leaves.

For the first several days after Natsu's confrontation, I stay behind after class so I can steal a chance to get some type of explanation from Natsu.

But as soon as the bell rings, he swiftly exits the classroom along with everyone else. He never gives me the slightest opening to talk to him.

With Natsu ignoring me, the pain becomes more unbearable each day. So, I stop trying.

I stop trying to speak with Natsu.

I'm not surprised when days begin to sail past me, then they start becoming weeks, and then it's been a month.

Valentine's Day had never felt so dull before.

And I still haven't told anyone about Natsu and I.

Natsu and I haven't locked eyes for a month, spoke to each other for a month, or seen each other outside of school for a month.

I'm grateful school takes my thoughts away for seven hours. My thoughts continue to stay out of my head while I'm at Levy's house, but it's not long until just those several hours aren't enough.