Bang my drums - a Fenriz fanfic

Chapter 1: a fare maiden

Chapetr 1

it was a cold day and there was snow in da land of Norway because it snows a lot and the singer from Burzum, Abbath, was celebrating teh snow with a party in Oslo.

Many miles away in a place that was not oslo, drummer from Norwegian blackmetal band dark funeral was walking in teh forest because that is very black metal n kvlt to do. It was snowing there as well and the snow was white, so Vark was happy bcus he is kind of racist, but that is a different story. the yellow glow from the McDonalds sign lit up the forest and the snow looked like the shining pee of 1000 dogs, because they had just built a new McDonalds in the middle of the forest (with a drive thru) because Vark burned down teh old one (also another story) 

Fenriz basked in the warm glow of teh mcdonalds sign but he was still cold because of teh supremacist snow so he went nearer to teh mc donalds where the hot fryers were. It smelled of fries.

suddenly there was a spectral calling to him like a ghost n he looked around, but there was just trees n the mc donelds. 

''what is dat?'' he thought, but there was no 1 there

then he remembered that it wasnt a ghost but he forgot to wash out his headlice shampoo again. he went thru the drive thru and the staff were mad because it's a drive thru not a walk thru, and he went to the forest lake what was next to burger king. The natural beauty of teh forest with teh snow and trees n animals and giant flashing burger king sign enchanted him. he walked some more, and 2 steps later he got to teh lake. 

It was a lake of water n the sunset glowed in it like a big orange pancake. 

Fenriz lookt around, but there was no one at the lake because they were all eating burgers. 

he washed his long flowing hair in teh lake and now he didnt have headlice, it was very sensual n stuff. suddenly he heard a siren song, like beautiful cheese graters grating on concrete. 

''hello who dat?'' he asked, but the sweet sound like someone choking on sour milk just rang out through the trees without stopping . 

he saw a fare maiden sitting on teh other side of the lake singing, with spiked bracers and no clothes on. It was really hot. 

fenris swam across teh lake and went up to the beautiful woman. 

''hello you are so hot'' he said. 

''my name is Legion'' said the fare maiden

''that's a cute name'' said fenriz

''wanna get a Mc donalds with me?''

Legion nodded and they went to mc donalds.