LondonAfter blowing my fuse with Laney and locking her back in my personal room, I headed back out into the Den, straight for the bar. When Sal, the bartender, seen me approaching, he automatically served my go to drink, crown and coke. I was sitting there mulling over everything that's happened when Conner plopped in the stool beside me.
"What's eating you man?"
"Same old shit, same old story, Laney".
Conner took a breath. "Yea, I heard you basically cave man drug her to the pit, almost blew Emily's brain's out in front of her".
"Still wish I had of".
Conner ordered them another round. "Wish I knew what to tell you, but I don't. Laney just needs time. She's been through alot in a short amount of time. I'm sure there's plenty of things she needs to come to terms with, especially killing a man. Hell, we've both seen some men that have lost their shit over a kill. So imagine what Laney's going through. She's not accustomed to any of our crazy shit, we was raised in this" London held his hand up. "You don't think I understand all of that? I do, it's just she got the best of me earlier, and I lost my shit. Sometimes that woman just doesn't know when to shut up, then finds my button and just doesn't push it, but fucking lays down on it like a horn duiring five o'clock traffic". Conner laughed and took a swallow of his scotch. "I know exactly what you mean. Ela has been on my back since we've been home. She seems to think you've killed Laney and hid the body, because she hasn't seen her since we been back. I stuffed a fucking anxiety pill in her drink earlier just to get some peace". London laughed and finished his drink. "I feel like shit for doing what I did, but fuck, I was tired of her accusing me of all this bullshit. I wanted her to see and believe. Now I've probably even screwed her up more."
"Like I said, give her time. When she's ready to talk and make nice she will let you know. Also it would probably be better for her if you take her home, get her out of the Den. Letting her see Ela would probably be a major help. Not to mention get Ela off my case".London nodded his agreement and remained silent. Conner stood up, slapped him on the back and headed to the card tables. After another drink, London headed back to the room. Laney was curled in a fetal position sleeping. Softly, he sat on the bed looking down on her. He ran his hand over her hair and for a instant she seemed to curl into his touch, and released a soft moan. Then Laney's eyes darted open and reality set in again. She sat up and scooted away fearful.
"Laney I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that".
London reached across and took her hand. "I love you Laney and I would never do anything to hurt you. No matter what you've done or said, I'd never hurt you. I know this is all my fault. I should've been there, should've got to you sooner. Fuck, you want even hug me, barely look at me. Do you even still love me?"
London looked over at her. He saw the tears in her eyes as he awaited an answer.
Laney
Do I still love him? I watch him watching me wanting a answer. True, I know he's a murderer, deals in everything from guns to drugs, has alot of blood on his hands, but I know the real London. The one who loves singing in the car, the one who gets all sentimental over a puppy commercial, the one who traces sweet words across my back with his fingertips. I do, I do love him, I just wished it didn't feel so wrong. Could I forgive myself for loving a man who does all those vile things. Could I honestly look myself in the mirror knowing that my man doesn't go off to a honest job everyday, but goes off to make drug deals, smuggle weapons, kills someone who owes him. Sometimes it's best to love someone from afar. I know he claims he'd never hurt me, and for the most part, I believe him.
Then the minor issue of me being killed just because I'm with him. I want a normal life, without fear, freedom to walk outside without worrying about being shot. Not to mention worrying about London losing his life as well. This is no way to live. But I do love him, heart, body and soul.

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Double Standards (Part 1)
RomanceHe stared down at me with those cold dark eye's. Backing me up against the wall with his hand pressed against my throat he growled out. "Do you know the ways I could kill you? The things I could do to you babydoll? I'll ask you again, what did you...