Why Fall For Him

Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Why Fall For Him

*Justin's pov*

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I closed my eyes, imagining a life with Selena. I thought I had it all until I lost her. I've always known what it felt like to be broken inside but not to this extent. It hurts so much. I feel like without her my world is falling apart. The truth is, she's the only person who has truly cared and loved me. She's been there for me when no one else was. My parents don't exactly count because at times I felt like they cared and loved me but there were times when didn't. She was all that I had and I messed it up. I don't exactly know how to explain how I feel. It's just so hard. I thought coming to rehab would help. Which in a way it did. I've learned how to control my anger and I've overcome my addictions. But, over the past few months I've been majorly depressed. I thought coming into this would help, but being what feels like a million miles away from her makes it harder. Another thing is, knowing that she's carrying my child and I might not be able to be there for him or her like I would have like to been hurts even more.

I heard a faint knock at the door. Before I had time to answer, someone walked in.

"Justin, it's time." My therapist Samantha said.

"For?" I asked. I furrowed my eyebrows together. "You're going home." She said happily. She managed to smile as she helped me gather my clothes together. Within twenty minutes we had put all of my thing in my suitcase and business bag. As I walked to my car, my phone went off. I took a deep breath before I answers the phone.

"Hello?" I leaned up against my care as an unfamiliar voice rang through the phone.

"Is this Justin?" The voice said. I nodded my head even though the man on the other end of the phone couldn't see me.

"Yes." I said.

"You're mother is dying of cancer." The man said. I was speechless. I tried forming words but couldn't.

"All she wants is to see you before nature takes her away." The man said. I didn't question him. I threw my bags in the car and headed straight for the airport. The man sent me the address. I hung up before he could say anymore. As I pulled into a parking lot at the airport, I sat back in my seat. I leaned my head up against the head rest. Seconds later, I let my head fall to the steering wheel. My car shrieked as my horn played a hard melody. Tears fell from my eyes. I closed my eyes, but nothing could stop the tears from escaping through my eyelids.

I barely made my way to the customer services office without tears streaming down my face.

"I uh, I, um," I stuttered. The lady at the desk looked at me funny.

"Spit it out. I don't got time for ya." She said. "If ya lookin' for somewhere to buy your plain tickets, it over there!" She said, pointing in one direction. I nodded my head and thanked her before I walked out of her office.

After about an hour of waiting, I was finally able to buy my tickets. Boarding begins in twenty minutes which gives me enough time to go through security. Hopefully.

As soon as we landed, I ran to the public transportation pick up area. As I got on, I realized it would have been easier to walk instead of taking the bus. There must be one hundred stops before an area near the hospital. Just as soon as I was going to step off, the driver took off, driving to the fist stop. Once the bus came to a complete stop, several people trampled over each other to make their way to the small doors. A few people tripped as they got off, landing in a strangers arms. More people came on, and I felt like this would never end.

I pressed my head up against the window of the bus. Sighing, I checked my phone. I slid my phone back inside my pocket. I let time fly by, but there's only two things on my mind. Selena and my mother. My mothers image flooded my mind. Selena's image replaced my mothers image. Then my mothers image reappeared. And the cycle keep repeating. I banged my head against the wall, closing my eyes. But it did no good. The images wouldn't disappear. I feel like I'm going to go crazy. My head is spinning and their images won't disaster. Then, flashbacks of the night at the train station flooded my mind. I heard Selena's small cries and her last words she said to me that night,

"So you're just going to push your pregnant girlfriend into a train?" And just as it did that night, my heart shattered into a million pieces.

I didn't notice the tears that wear streaming down my face until everyone turned their attention towards me. Faces were starring at me from every direction.

After what felt like decades, I got off the bus and ran to the hospital. Once I entered the hospital, I ran to the front desk and told them who I came to see. I was gone within seconds, anxiously and impatiently waiting to see my mom. I knocked on the door as I caught my breath. A man opened the door with a faint smile on his face. He seemed so familiar but yet felt something like a stranger.

"How is she?" I said, ignoring the man in front of me. I slid past him and walked to my mothers side. I held her hand, carefully. She looked like a completely different person. Wrinkles covers her face and she looked nothing like she did before. She laid peacefully in bed, but kept the pain she was feeling inside.

Her eyes fluttered open and a smile crept on her face as she saw me standing before her.

"Hi mom." I barely managed to say, fight the tears I'm holding back.

"Oh, my baby." She said as she brought me me into a hug. I crawled in bed with her and cradled her in my arms. I would have never thought I was holding my mother in my arms. She's like a completely different person. Her attitude and nude has changed tremendously. All the hatred I ha kept inside all of these years, vanished. Like the memories we shared never existed.

"Mom, your going to be a grandma in a few months." I said. A smile crossed both of our faces. The man that stood on the other side of her bed gasped.

"You're going to make a great father." She said. I nodded my head, but wasn't so sure myself.

"Justin?" The man said. I turned around and looked at him.

"Your mother and I are very proud of you. And, we're sorry about everything we've put you through." And that's when I realized who the man was. He's my father.

He grabbed a note from his coat pocket and handed it to me.

"Don't open it. It's for her. We know we won't be around much longer so we wanted you to give her this." He said. By the way he said, "her" I knew he was talking about Selena. I nodded my head and kept the note safely in my hand.

I rested my head on my moms shoulder.

"Justin, will you scratch my back?" My mom begged. I did as she asked throughout the night. Her eyes slowly shut with a smile on her face. Hours past but it felt like days. I hate to sit here and watch time suck the life out of my parents.