After Brother Enoch left, Clary was lying down on her uncomfortable mattress. Brother Enoch said that there were no ties to where Sebastian would be, that he could find in her mind. Someone knocked on the door. "It's a public room." She called. Jace came through the door.
"How are you feeling?" Jace asked, as he sat down into the chair beside the table.
"Fine. Brother Enoch said I needed sleep. That's the reason I passed out: exhaustion. Silly, isn't it?" Clary said lamely.
"No it's not silly. Here, you're hand looks heavy. Let me hold it for you." Jace said with a smile. "Thanks," She started sarcastically. "The weight was getting unbearable."
"I make it my personal responsibility to help you out." He said with another smile.
"It's good you're here, I need to move to a bedroom, and I don't think I could do it on my own." Clary said, forgetting Jace's remark. "These infirmary beds are too stiff, and I'm dizzy."
"You aren't going to faint on me again, are you? Because sometimes I have that effect on unstable women."
"Why are you making so many jokes, Jace? If you're trying to lighten the mood, it's not going to work." Clary said. She was tired and really wanted to sleep.
Jace looked at her sadly. "I know. But we're here. We're safe. We're together, and Clary--" Jace exhaled and looked over at the corner of the room, like the most fascinating thing was standing there. Finally he looked at her. "I don't know how long we can keep that. I can't promise you that tomorrow, when we wake up, everything will be okay. I can't promise you that Sebastian won't be here. And I can't promise I can always protect you. As much as it pains me to say that. I can't."
Clary looked at him, took a deep breath, and kissed him lightly on the lips. "I know. And I don't think less of you because of it. You can't always promise tomorrow. Nobody can. But you know what? I love you. I am deliriously in love with you. I will always be. Sebastian can't change that, nobody can. That's how much I love you. We're all scared to say thing worth saying, but when I'm with you- I'm not scared." She looked at him and took a deep breath, waiting for his response. It was a few moments before he said anything.
"And you say you aren't good with words." he said, before crushing his lips on hers. He picked her up from where she lay on the bed, and took her out of the infirmary, into the first bedroom he could find. Kissing her the entire way. Inside the room, he walked over to the bed and laid her down gently. But she didn't want his gentleness, not after all this time. All of the danger and missing and longing, she was tired of it. She wanted it all stripped away. She wanted Jace. She started to pull the hem of his t-shirt up, when he stopped her hands and pulled it off himself. He crushed himself to her again, sliding over top of her, his hips grinding with hers. Clary arched her back so they were touching everywhere. Hips, legs, stomachs, lips, chest. He pulled her sheer shirt off and then her flimsy tank-top. They were kissing so hard it was bruising. Jace did something with his hips and suddenly she was on top of him. Jace pulled away slightly so he could start working on her jean button. Having his warm fingers on her abdomen seemed to have awoken her to reality.
"Jace, stop." It killed her to say those words. But if they kept going, the heavenly fire would take over and burn her. Not that she was scared, but if Jace burned her, she knew he wouldn't forgive himself. "Did I hurt you?" Jace asked in a husky voice. She looked into his eyes and saw only concern and confusion. "No, not yet. I'm fine it's just..." She trailed off. "If we kept going I would burn you." Jace said, lamely. Clary rolled herself off of Jace, and onto the bed beside him. "Yeah," She sighed. "Something like that." He flipped over onto his side, and looked down at her. "I love you." He said.
Clary looked up at him. She had always thought that people threw around the word love to easely. You could love a baseball team, until they have a losing season. You could love a pair of jeans, until you grew out of them. You could love a show, until your favorite charcter dies. You could always love conditionally, but rarely you found the type of love that was uncanditional. A love that shouted No matter what. Clary was lucky enough to have found that type of love. In her mother, in Simon, in Luke. But never outside of that; until she met jace. Thier love seemed stronger than all of the relationships she had had previously. Thier love was the strongest she had ever had, or known. And she loved Jace. She loved him so much sometimes it hurt.
"I love you, too."
*******
Simon held Isabelle in his arms. She had fallen asleep, but he had never been more awake.
*******
