Alec looked at his phone.
It still hadn't rung yet.
He bit his lip and called Magnus again. He didn't pick up. Alec heard Magnus' voice: "Sorry, I can't talk to you right now... or I don't like you. Please don't leave a message." And then the phone beeped, signaling to leave a message. "Magnus, please." Alec said his voice breaking. "I'm sorry. I am so, so sorry." He whispered. "Please."
Sometimes he called Magnus just to hear his voice. Magnus hadn't picked up once since the night he had found out about Camille. He had been in shock. Alec had remembered going to Magnus' apartment. He had numbly took all his things back to the institute. He still remembered what it all felt like; dethatching himself- removing himself, from Magnus' life. It felt like giving himself heart surgery.
A single tear rolled itself down Alec's cheek.
There was a knock at the door. Alec hastily wiped the tear away, and yelled: "Come in."
Jace came in and sat down at the end of Alec's bed. His parabatai gave him a measured look and sighed. "Alec..."
"Don't," Alec said. "Don't try and tell me I'll forget about him. Don't try and tell me to get over him. I won't. What happens if Clary broke up with you? Would you just get over it. Would you forget about her?"
Jace looked away from him, but not before Alec saw a flash of pain in his eyes. God, Alec thought. I'm ruining everything.
"No, I wouldn't get over Clary. I could never-" Jace looked back at him. "But she wouldn't leave me either. I know she wouldn't. But whatever happened between you and Magnus- whatever you said, or he said- he left you. And if he left you, he isn't worth your time."
Tears were flowing freely down Alec's face now. "It hurts so much, Jace." Alec said, closing his eyes. “Camille propositioned me. She told me that if I killed Raphael, that she would be able to take away Magnus' immortality." Alec opened his eyes. "It bothered me so much- that I was going to only live 70-80 years- and Magnus would live forever. I wanted us to grow old together. I was so stupid. Magnus had warned me about Camille, about how manipulative she was. I said I wasn't going to kill Raphael, but I kept meeting her. I never told Magnus." Alec stopped, and took a deep breath. He was babbling. Jace knew he was babbling, but he let him go on. "And then Camille told Magnus about what I was doing. And-" Alec's voice was broken. "He followed me one night. He asked me how I could do that to him- to shorten his life. And then he told me to collect my things, that he would be gone all day..."
Alec saw Jace look at him, his eyebrows drawn together in thought. "Well," Jace said. "It looks like you've gotten yourself into quite a conundrum."
"That's what you have to tell me." Alec said, incredulous. "That I'm in a conundrum. You're supposed to tell me how to fix it, what to do..."
"I don't agree with what you did, but I see why you did it. However I also see why Magnus did what he did." Jace said.
"But I- "Alec started, but before he could finish a knock came at the door.
"Come in." Jace called. Alec gave him an irritated look. "It's my room, maybe I don't want anyone to come in.
Jace looked at him and shrugged. "Too late."
Isabelle came in and looked at both of them. "Too late for what?" She asked.
"Nothing." Alec and Jace said at exactly the same time. Isabelle wrinkled her poreless nose. "That's why I don't have a parabatai, sometimes it's like they read each other’s minds." Isabelle said, sitting down next to Alec on the bed.
