Diary of An Unnatural (BOOK #2)

Dear Diary

Ava's POV

            I could feel William's gaze on me the whole time as we walked back to the cabin. Angelina led the way with Liv in tow, and Jane and Derek followed behind us talking in hushed voices. I didn't even try to listen to them. My brain and body were tired, and all I wanted to do lay down and close my eyes for a little while.

            "Are you okay?" William asked me.

            I shrugged. "I don't know. Would you be if your best friend got turned into a vampire by the same guy who turned you and now she refused to acknowledge your existence and all she wants to do is see the guy who turned the both of us?"

            "Ava..." He reached out for me, but I stepped away.

            "No, please just..." I took a deep breath and shut my eyes for just a moment. We had stopped in the middle of the forest, Jane and Derek catching up to us. "I don't want to talk right now. Not with people around."

            "Well, let's go somewhere else," he suggested.

            "While we're dealing with Liv? I don't think that would be a good idea. Let's just...Let's just talk later."

            But William grabbed hold of my arm and suddenly we were away from everyone else. I stared back up at him ready to say something. Then I saw the look in his eyes. How had I not taken a moment to think about how he was feeling? Especially after I left him in the woods.

            "We need to talk, Ava," he said, his voice strong and low. "I've known you for a while now, and I know that if we don't talk now, we might never get the chance. I might never get the chance."

            I stared down at the ground, refusing his gaze. "I'm sorry," I whispered. "I overreacted. It's just that...I...I don't understand. What do you see in me? What makes you so fascinated? And don't blame it on the bond. You started watching me way before that."

            He sighed. "Because I care, okay? I don't know how or why, but I do. I care about you more than I've cared about any girl in a long time, maybe ever. I'm sorry if you don't feel the same. And I'm sorry if you feel like I'm pushing you. But..." He turned away, his back facing me.

            "But what?" I grab his shoulder and try pulling him back around. "William, whatever you're going to say, say it. I'm tire of people not telling me things. I'm tired of being kept in the dark. I just want to know. For once, I want to know the truth."

            "I've told you how I felt," he said, his voice hard and hitting and his back still to me. " In the woods that day, I told you that I didn't care what you felt. I never wanted to push you, but you pushed right back. Maybe we weren't ready to do what we did. Maybe it was a mistake. But I know one thing." Then his hands are pressed on my cheeks. I feel his breath tickle my nose. "I don't regret a single thing. Nothing between you and me."

            I wanted to respond. With something at least. I wanted to tell him that I was finally feeling something. Maybe I was. But then I thought about my mom, and Val, and Liv, and Hansen, and Luke. And my whole body went numb.

            I turned away from him before he could go any further.

            "I'm sorry," I whispered.

            He took a step back and nodded. "It's okay. No rush."

            But I wanted to rush. I wanted to repeat the wood incident. My body and my soul wanted him so badly. My mind thought better. Maybe the whole idea of love having to do with the heart was just some bullshit people came up with when they fell in love blindly. The brain was the trickiest, hardest to convince part of the body. It called all the shots.