NYCTOPHILIA /Joshler/

Chapter One

🍂Tyler🍂

TRIGGER WARNING
self harm, blood, and cursing

The car ride home was silent. Mostly because my Father was in the drivers' seat. He never wants to be involved with my "issues" so he just avoids me all together.

And 99% of the time he's successful. But today was one on those days where he had to inconveniently take the place of my Mom and drive me to one of my biweekly and "necessary" therapy sessions. Unlike my Dad, my Mom is concerned about me and is desperately trying to "fix me." I've always been closer to my mother, even before my dad was embarrassed of me.

But finally after ten awkward minutes, we were finally back home. I practically ran up the stairs, passing by all of my siblings as I did so, and opened the door to my dark room. And locked it as soon as it slammed shut.

I stood leaning against the door for a little while. Feeling relieved, but also worried about the next morning. It was Monday-the first Monday of my senior year. I fucking hate school.

I instinctively walked over to my dresser and pulled out the bottom left drawer. I dug around for awhile until I felt the familiar crinkle of an old ziplock bag. I pulled it out and stared at the sharp pieces of metal. They were my blades.

I sat down and held one in between my index finger and my thumb, I set it down only to roll up my sleeve and then pick it back up again. I made the first cut in the middle of my forearm, watching in awe as I started to see red. I think red is becoming my new favorite color.

I woke up in a cold sweat. I looked at my clock,thinking I was late for my first day, but it was only nine at night. I must've fell asleep after I...
I hissed as I slowly peeled the stuck fabric off of my wounds. It was pretty stupid to make very visible cuts on my arm the day before school but I didn't care. At least I live in Ohio where its winter for more than half the fucking year.

Then the tears came. I don't know exactly why I was crying but I have a hunch, a few hunches actually.

🍂AN🍂
I'm sorry I'm a shitty writer (please bare with me Josh will be introduced soon)  OH AND BY THE WAY in this story I picture Tyler and Josh being really fetus (picture above)
-love mom