Cloth Hearts

Gavin

The human hand is so disgustingly strange. It can make thousands of movements with no effort, such a wonderful ending to an arm. It's a flat piece much like a foot, greeted by long, thin extremities. Fingers remind me a bit of tentacles.They have a nail to protect what lies underneath, but there must be some other purpose, like for picking or gathering or scratching. They must be so horrifying to animals, without any fluidity like a tail, a finger has several joints to make very complex, almost mechanical, movements. Hands are strong. The many ligaments and muscles allow leverage that to humans seems like nothing, but in reality are very powerful. Think about it. Typing may seem very easy, but usually you need about eight pounds of weight just to push a key down. That's the weight of a small cat.

Today I used my hands in a way I am not proud of.

I hid them, I pulled a shirt off with them, I pushed someone away with them.

That someone was Annalise.

I feel horrible. She was so nice to me, letting me into her hideout. She shared her things with me, she played her violin for me. She wasn't afraid to let me read one of her stories, or drink the soda from her fridge. She trusted me enough to cry in front of me! She kissed me.

I was so happy kissing her, she was beautiful. It was wonderful, and sent tingles down my spine. She didn't hurt me like Jodie tends to do at times. She was gentle and didn't force anything. 

I wish I didn't love her.

Woah, calm down man. You probably feel that way because you have to.

It was stupid, we just met. At the same time, the meeting was pure destiny. It was bound to happen. I would have let it happen longer, what if i had no girlfriend. 

I have no idea how to break up with Jodie, or even face Annalise.

I don't want to break up with Jodie. She's always been good to me. Why the hell should I make her go throught that over some random chick?

The chick that I kissed.

Why did she have to come into my life now? When I was doing well too! I haven't freaked out in a while now. Jodie helped me the last time. She's tough. She knows what to do when I get like that. Annalise would get hurt. She's probably way too fragile.

Jodie isn't here right now to help.

Ever since the accident with my hand, I haven't been the same. My father died for crying out loud! My mother is a mess! And on top of that I get these damn panic attack things!

I get really stressed, and start to freak out. I scream and cry like a normal panic attack, but I get very angry. I go crazy. They never last long, but usually I don't know what happened afterwards. I can sense them coming. I'm about to have one now.

I punch a hole in the wall. I start throwing things. Before it gets worse, I grab my pillow and hold on to it as hard as I can. I'm shaking and sweating, but this is the only way I can keep myself from destroying my room.

I gotta fix this.

Annalise~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well shit.

Not too sure what just happened, but I'm pretty sure I'm sad about it. 

I just kissed Gavin, that's for sure. 

He ran away from me, pushed me. In the chest too. He didn't seem disgusted by me, more sad. He mumbled he was sorry, so I guess that counts. He had a prosthetic hand. I think he has a girlfriend, and I'm not one to interfere. I'm too introverted for too much drama.

I hope he comes back, at least as a friend. He was a nice guy.

I feel kind of angry. Not at him, or anything really. This is weird. I'm shaking a little. Last time this happened was a while back. I don't know what they are really, they just seem to happen. 

I want to punch something. I'm strong enough to break something, believe it or not I work out. Not to the extent where I'm ripped, but I have abs that can be seen if I flex. Always good to have defense. Learned how to fight from Beau. Maybe I should go see her.

It took me a while to realize I had no shirt on.

~~~~

Once I arrived at Beau's house, I knew this would be difficult. I have to tell her about my bunker, and she's not gonna be happy about the secret.

Her black hair was in a messy bun, she was wearing a chain in her ear, attached by the piercing in her cartilage.This added to the other four piercings in her ears. She has a lot of piercings, including eyebrow and nose. She had a simple black tee, with a turquoise flannel layered on top. Her necklace was simply her zodiac sign engraved into a flat coin. Sagittarius. We shared the same sign. She wore a pair of black tights, a very comfortable outfit. She topped it all off with a pair of black ankle boots. Her outfit was very pre-apocalyptic.She of course also had our friendship bracelet on, as did I. We never take them off. Ever.

Today, style is a mix of Victorian age and 21st century. Big dresses are the more proper things to wear, with newer things seen as edgier. Goggles are also quite popular among the working class. I simply wear them for eye protection.

"Hey girl, wassup? Why are you so sad looking? Wait. Why is your heart glowing?"She bombarded me with questions, demanding immediate answers that I did not grant.

"Follow me."

Funny, didn't I say that to Gavin?

A/N

Say hello to Beau! She's on the side. Agh, I love all my characters to death, but she is pretty badass. I added to this chapter, I really felt it needed some work! Comment anything you want, I love hearin' the feedback. Love everyone reading this, Bye bye!

~Gelato