phan fics [d.h + p.l] book 3

try to get some sleep

summary: "I don't want to die," was all it read in shaky handwriting. My throat tightened.
"I don't want you to die, either. But let's make the most of it, yeah?"
Dan nodded so slightly that if you weren't looking for it, you wouldn't catch it.

tags: fatal disease!! vvv sad dan this fic made me cry

by: phan_tomhive18 on ao3

read with caution. this fic made me cry really hard and it takes a lot for me to cry over a fic so. i warned ya

ﾟ*｡:(人'v｀*)☆ﾟ:｡*ﾟ

"Phil? Can we go to bed, please?" Dan's voice had almost a whiny tone to it. "I haven't been able to sleep well, lately." He was right. I looked at his dark brown eyes and saw purple underneath them. They looked like harsh bruises.
"Sure! We can upload the video tomorrow and I'll help you work on filming yours, yeah?" I kept my tone even and enthusiastic even though I was rather sleepy as well.
Dan nodded sluggishly and went to my room. I followed in after a few moments of organizing a few files on my laptop, and crawled under my brightly colored duvet.
"Goodnight, Phil," he said with half-closed eyes and quickly pecked me on the lips.
"Night."
-
I woke up at an ungodly hour to the rustling of sheets. Dan was getting out of bed. I rubbed my eyes lazily and fumbled for my glasses on the nightstand.
"Dan?" I called out into the darkness. I heard a soft sigh in return.
"Didn't mean to wake 'ou," he said, his words slow and slurred. "Ouldn't sleep again." I heard a yawn escape him.
"You want some tea? That helps me sometimes," I offered, already getting out of bed. I was really troubled about Dan's wellbeing. He's had trouble sleeping before, but this seemed different.
"Sure. I'll try sleeping again afterward." He led the way to the kitchen, and that's when I started to notice something was off.
I made the tea and handed him the Hello Kitty mug that he was fond of, when his arm started to twitch. Some tea fell out of the mug onto the floor, and Dan muttered an apology. "'Orry, I dunno what's wrong with my muscles lately. Been all o'er the place," he explained, and set down the mug. I grabbed a cloth to start cleaning the floor.
"Dan, do you want to see a doctor?" Whatever Dan was experiencing did not seem like the average 'I'm having trouble sleeping' scenario.
"'Aybe. Can we schedule an appointment?" He seemed more alert now that I mentioned a doctor. Appointments were definitely not his favorite thing to attend.
"I'll see if I can tomorrow. For now just try to get some rest, okay? I'll be in after you," I said calmly, and finished cleaning the floor. I kept telling myself everything was going to be okay, but somewhere deep down I felt the twinge of unsettlement settling over me like a dark cloud. I felt like it was going to start storming, soon, but I didn't let myself think that.
-
Scheduling an appointment was easier than expected, and Dan was due for one tomorrow morning at ten o'clock.
"You'll be fine, Dan, don't worry about it," I assured him, but I wasn't even sure myself. "You might just have insomnia." He barely moved his head to make a nod in response, but I understood why he was nervous. "How about we get this video out, yeah?"
We double checked to make sure additional editing wasn't needed, and Dan eventually clicked upload.
"Ready to film mine?" He suddenly asked, which was the most he had said to me all morning.
"Yeah, let's do it!"

Later in the day we decided to lounge around on the couch. We both had our laptops just scrolling around different types of social media and interacting with fans. It was one of my favorite things to do, and I'm sure Dan liked it, too.
The silence was oddly comforting until it was broken.
"I feel stiff."
I looked up from Twitter, and I felt my eyebrows furrow in confusion. Dan's face held a frown and be generally just looked uncomfortable. He shifted his body.
"I-uh, what do you mean?"
"I just feel stiff. Like, I can't move, but I can."
"I guess I understand," I said, even though I didn't-not really. "I would tell the doctor about that tomorrow."
He nodded, and went back to whatever he was doing before. This was becoming stranger by the minute.
-
"Dan! We are going to be late!"
"I'm coming, I'm coming!"
I glanced at my phone clock. It was already a quarter until ten and we still had to catch a taxi.
A few moments later, a sleep deprived Dan came rushing down the stairs to the door. I opened the door and we rushed down the rest of the stairs and I managed to call a taxi.
Once inside, I silently scolded Dan.
"We could've been late, you know. We are already cutting it close!"
"Well, sorry that I couldn't sleep last night, either!" He whisper-yelled at me.
I didn't say anything else for the remainder of the trip. Guilt was creeping its way to my heart.
-
"Daniel Howell?" A kind looking lady stood in the back near the door, beckoning for Dan. We both stood up in silence and walked over.
"Can he come with?" Dan asked the lady, who's name tag read 'Karen'. Karen nodded with a smile and ushered us in.
"Okay, Daniel, just step on this scale."
Karen did all of the necessities of the appointment, and then led us to the room.
"Okay, just have a seat in here and the doctor will be right with you," she explained, and then shut the door on her way out.
"Nice lady," I said, trying to strike up any conversation, whether it be interesting or not.
"Yeah," was all I got in return. Awhile later, Dan looked straight into my eye and said, "Sorry that I'm...distant. I am just nervous and I'm not sure why."
I nodded in understanding. "You'll be fine, Dan."