phan fics [d.h + p.l] book 3

no strings

summary: phil really misses sex and it turns out that Dan really misses sex, too. So... they just decide to have sex together.

tags: friends wth benefits, #bantz

by: phangirlingforphan on tumblr

ﾟ*｡:(人'v｀*)☆ﾟ:｡*ﾟ

i.
He's wanking to Muse.

It's 10 o'clock in the morning and he's wanking to New Born. Every time Matt Bellamy hits that crescendo of unmatchable, sexy falsetto his toes curl just that little bit more.

Phil reckons he's a bit of a sorry excuse for a single, 29 year old; getting off to the voice of a rockstar as soon as you wake up isn't probably on the agenda for many people his age, but as of right now the desperation to feel anything is almost palpable.

Antsy and sex-craving isn't a persona he wishes to have displayed so obviously, but goodness it's just been so long since he last 'got lucky' that he's wondering if sex still exists.
To get sex, you generally have to meet people, and to meet people you have to leave the house and socialise and flirt and make friends and it's all a long, drawn out process he's reluctant to take part in. He has plenty of female friends, and he knows lots of people, but everyone is taken or gay or not into him. Believe him when he says he's tried.

Bisexuality is meant to be fantastic and should leave him with many more options than if he was simply straight, yet for some reason it's been months and he's not even close to having a significant other; no matter what gender they are.

There's an orgasm and the high is enough to satiate him for a little while at least until the inevitable frustration sets back in.

ii.
He and Dan are sat together on the sofa watching a rerun of Friends while they eat breakfast. The usual grunts of 'good morning' have been shared - Dan knows by now that Phil will be less than coherent until he's drank a vat of coffee.

Dan is stifling a yawn every minute, cursing himself for staying up until 4am last night, but there was something magical about learning that swans can be gay that set him off on a Wikipedia odyssey to learn about other animals' sexualities.
"Note to self, four in the morning is not a good bedtime." Dan says.

Phil snorts, "You say that nearly every day and you never change," he points out.

"Maybe if I say it enough it'll stick."
"What was it this time? Wikipedia blackhole? Guild Wars?"

"Wikipedia," Dan says and takes a large gulp of coffee, "I found out swans can be gay and it sort of changed my life."

"That's pretty great," Phil agrees, but his smile slowly turns sour as he focuses back on the TV. A sex scene. Fantastic.

He must be grimacing quite spectacularly because Dan says, "You look super pissed at Ross and Rachel."

"I'm not pissed. It's called jealousy."
"Jealousy?" Dan repeats, "They're about to fuck in a museum, is that a weird kink you have or something?"
"No, it's not the setting, it's the sex." And then Dan's laughing at him. "Shut up." he grumbles.

"Hey, I'm not judging you!" Dan insists, holding his hands up in surrender, "I totally get that, it's just not what I expected you to say, I guess?"

Phil just shrugs.

"How long has it been?"

Talking about sex with Dan isn't an uncommon topic, they're best friends and flatmates after all, Phil has heard Dan having sex and vice versa, it's not a surprise to be discussing things like this, but for Phil right now the embarrassment of how long it's been since he slept with anyone is just too much.