Wondering Pilgrim {ON HOLD}

1]

Dayton Florida
February 3, 2017

"Lil, hun you need to make some friends."

I felt my azure hues role into the back of my skull, as I dropped my spoon back into the bowl of what had been golden grahams. I know aunt May meant well. She really did, but I would never truly be happy in Dayton Florida, it just wasn't my home. I'd only been here for about a month, and I could say with absolute certainty that I wasn't about to open up, and call this place home any time soon, or maybe even ever.

The heat was a drastic change from what I knew. It was sweltering​ and sticky. Let's be real at least for a moment, I did in fact love the change in temperature some what. It was amazing the first few days to see the sun, but after a while of unbearable one hundred degree heat I was ready to call it quits and move back to Seattle. It would have been a relief in a way to see a cloud in the sky. Now it just always seemed to be an endless blue and bright yellow. Pushing back from the table I stood up and walked my empty bowl to the sink. "Aunt May... I've told you before. I'm not interested in having friends. I just want to go back home to Seattle."

My statement was the best way to put a scowl on my aunt's face. More or less this was the same argument that we always had. She would never understand why I wanted to go home so bad, and I in turn would never understand why she wanted me to stay here and love her precious home so much. Or why she loved it here so much in her cozy way to perfect cul-de-sac. Well maybe not so perfect considering we all seemed to be sweating our ares off. "Lil. We have been through this before. Seattle isn't your home any more. Your mother appointed me your legal guardian." I watched as a soft sigh escaped her lips, and she did her best to regain her calm cool composer​ that seemed to dawn her face at all times. Or at least when I was around her anyway. "I just want you to give this place a chance and you ..."

Slamming my hand down on the table I could feel myself snap under the pressure of the same argument. "I DON'T WANT TO GIVE THIS PLACE A CHANCE! END OF DISCUSSION!" Jumping at my outburst I felt as if this is something that she should have been use to by now. Aunt May just stared stunned at me while blinking as I huffed and headed out of the kitchen backdoor. Taking most of my frustrations out on the door as I went. Digging in my pocket I pulled out my mp3 player and head phones. More or less I had began carrying these things everywhere because lately it seemed Aunt May was pushing me further and further to insanity... I knew she was just trying to help, but in a way I desperately wished that she wouldn't do that so much. Shoving my head phones in my ears I blasted five finger death punch as loudly as I could, and took off running down the street. If only I could run fast and far enough to escape this dreaded place, but it seemed like an impossible task.

Whether it was the pounding of my feet on the street to the rhythm of the music, or if it was the thumping of my heart in my chest I could feel my anger slowly dying down to a smoldering remain of nothingness. I had ran maybe four blocks by the time I was both calm enough, and too tired to continue on running. The burning sensation in my calf's made me feel happy, for some odd reason it was nice for me to feel any sort of pain, or feel any source of something to know I wasn't just an empty hollow shell. Really I just liked the reminder. Eventually pulling my earbuds from my ears I slowed my pace from a run to a walk. Looking around my surroundings I found I was close enough to the local park so I decided what was the harm in heading there since I clearly was no where near ready to head back to Aunt Mays house, and probably never really would be.

It was the kind of day that was so hot that you would think that no one would want to do anything, but really the heat never stopped people from living in Dayton Florida. Must have been because everyone who lives here is use to this unbearable surface of the sun heat. Scanning the park there were children running around screaming in delight, and mother's sitting in floppy hats dresses or shorts pulled up to such short lengths in an attempt to get some sun on their pale skin. Fathers were standing around grills cooking hamburgers and hot dogs, drinking beers and laughing with friends. Old ladies were power walking around the playground watching their grandchildren at times and gossiping at others. What the hell? How did these people do this. At the best of times I can't even wake up and role out of bed in the mornings because it's so hot.