Am I The Only One Who Thinks Like This?

Drop Those Weapons

   Maybe if I killed those guards, I could've saved some money entering this disgusting pigsty. No. I might grab attention and I'll fuck up like last time.

I reached over to my ear and turned on my bluetooth to speak to my partner.

"I'm in."

"Good. Now, you see those two guards blocking the private room?"

   I looked past the grinding strippers and the bothering lights, seeing the guards distracted by the good looking waitress. I groaned at the sight.

Who the fuck hired them? Apparently, they're not paid as much.

"Jellybean?"

"My god, can you stop with the fucking names?! I didn't sign up for this!"

"And you didn't sign up to save the world, didn't ya?"

   I closed my mouth shut. He was right. I only did this agent spy shit for the money. Nothing more, nothing less.

"Tch."

"That's what I thought, sweet cheeks. Now, move through the crowds as calm as possible. You don't want to stand out as much. Also, if the guards tell you to-"

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Do as they say and drop the weapons."

"Well, if you remembered it word by word so well, why didn't you do it last time?"

"I just wanted the mission to get over with. I was already sick and tired of putting up with their shit."

"Okay, fine. Just don't let it happen again, alright?"

"Ha, how many times do I have to tell you, Marshall? I don't make promises."

"You motherfu-"

   I turned off the annoying communicating device and shoved my hands into the pockets of my hoodie. Surely I don't look suspicious in this outfit.

   I walked past by many. Some grinding on others, making it look like an orgy, some crying for a stupid break up... and some just wanting the job done. I finished walking past by the alcohol scented crowds and disturbing music without breaking a sweat.

Hmph, didn't think I'd get this far.

"Hey, you in the black hoodie!..."

I take that back.

"If you wish to speak with our leader, you're gonna have to drop them."

   I gave them both a dead look in the eye and dropped as many weapons. Guns of all sizes and small switch blades out of my pockets. The waitresses were giggling in amusement, while the guards drop a sweat in concern. I then started to take a step forward the gates in my fast and impatient pace. They stopped me and stuttered.

"I said ALL of them, kid!"

   Sick and tired of their shit, I rolled my eyes and began digging out my collection of needles of poison, spiked brass knuckles, my wine bottle of gasoline to hide evidence, and a smoke bomb.

They gave me a stern look. I pulled out a grenade.

"Can you tell me why you bring so many weapons with you?"

   I pulled out a blunt of mine and used my lighter to begin the goodness.

"I don't know. Can I? Now, since you know this, I'll give you a little something to keep our little secret."

I then dug out a stack of 100k and handed it to them.

"Make sure you both share."

   I winked at them and brushed past those astonished idiots and my smile turned into an evil smirk. You see, my blunt is fake. It's actually a tool meant for spitting out poison darts. Luckily, I still have some on my socks.

Let's get this shit over with.