Am I The Only One Who Thinks Like This?

Tasteless

I never wanted this. The pain.
An emotion. This... human-like feeling.
No one has ever told me of it's flavor.

   It was seven in the morning. No one was home but silence. I was my own roommate. I used to have someone besides me until... Well, it's in the past, right?

   Unlike many people, my experience with eating is an unspoken mystery. I rarely eat much and I don't gain or lose any weight at all. Food has been my memory of what I am and what I'll forever remain as. People that call themselves sane say they enjoy with all their might. Mostly for the flavor. Does that mean I'm not? I think of food as a chore that I loathe doing and I simply find no joy in eating... what the others eat. I too can have my little favorites.

   My stomach growled and I sighed to myself. I guess it's time. I got out of bed and noticed something crawling down my jawline. I touched it with my finger and examined it closely. A liquid substance. I licked it. I didn't know why I did it, I was only curious. It tasted salty. Was I sweating in my sleep or was I...? No, that dream I had didn't cause this. I should probably turn on the air conditioner.

   I did so and I felt the urge of changing my shirt. The one I was wearing made me feel uneasy. It was dirty. I went through my closet and found a loose green shirt. I took off my other one and right before slipped it on my stomach roared. I was silently stunned by it and immediately dropped my shirt and went straight into the kitchen. I forgot the fact that it didn't matter whether I am or not wearing a shirt. Like I said... I no longer had a roommate.

   Since it has been two weeks, I'll make myself a teriyaki bowl. Vegan. No... animal product. Cruelty free. Another reason why I haven't been eating. Luckily, I had all the ingredients to begin cooking. I started off with the basics.

(Watch video above. Sorry, I didn't feel like writing all of that shit.)

   I felt nothing as I cooked. Now... to consume. I grab a fork and stabbed a slice of avacado to be my first bite. I closed my eyes and placed it into mouth.

   I wanted to throw up, but I kept it in. The taste... it was unbearable. I managed to chew and swallow. Why did I do that? It was... tasteless. The aftertaste then came upon... and so did these tears. I didn't mean to.

   Every time I ate a meal, I'd do this until it would go away. I'd remember of him, know that it was too late to apologize, and cry.

   The dream. It kept haunting me ever since. I'd wake up in cold sweat then my stomach will start to growl. This was my hell.. and I deserved this punishment. After all, I ate my roommate. I also remembered the aftertaste. Guilt.