Before I fall.. ~ One Direction in the Hunger Games.

Before I fall. ~ Chapter 2.

As soon as I see the look on Carolines face, I realize that this is probably the biggest and maybe even the last mistake of my life. I'm going into the arena, I'm going to die.. and I have to spend my last days with the woman in the world I hate the most.

Her eyes are enormous and filled with horror, but the only thing I really see now is Lotties face. The long blonde hair, the emotions on her face. She stopped trying to act emotionless and she stares at me like she can't believe I'm doing this.

I can't believe it either.

I climb steadily on the podium and take my place. Jack doesn't look at me, even though I'm probably saving his life right now. Caroline finds the words to talk again sooner than Lottie does. "It's too late to volunteer, I think," she says, but she trails off when she sees my face. It's never too late to volunteer until the tributes are gone. She knows that, everybody knows that. She's trying to save me, but this time, I don't want to get saved.

"Never mind!" she gaps. "Well, then I think we got our tributes selected.. Unless Jack really wants to enter the arena?" She sounds hopeful, but of course the boy shakes his head and runs away as fast as he can. I hear another scream and I see him hugging an old woman. I'm not sure if she's his mother or grandmother.

Unfortunately, she stands close to my own mother. As soon as Annes eyes cross mine, I'm consumed with a terror that feels as old as life itself. A glimpse of pride burns in her eyes, but more of horror, and I think the only thing that keeps her from falling are the strong arms of my stepdad. And I know the nightmares I'll get tonight will be unforgettable.

"Our tributes: Lottie Tomlinson and Harry Styles!" Caroline says, in a voice she's fighting to keep steady. Lottie and I shake hands and for just one moment our hands meet. In the tight, desperate clench of our fingers are all the words we will never be able to say. She's calm, almost scary and looks at me with bigger eyes than I've ever seen, with the color of the morning dawn. Before I can stop myself, I step forwards and put her arms around me. She looks at me for a few seconds and then hugs me back. A hush falls over the crowd at the sight of the tears who are finally falling from my eyes. I know I shouldn't cry, because it makes me look like a victim, a weak person, but I cannot stop myself. All the pain and anger I feel towards the Capitol comes out for the first time in months.

What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us, what we have done for someone else remains immortal. ~

The words jump into my head out of nowhere and it takes a while before I realize the voice in my head, saying the words, is Zayn's. Zayn had a new, deep quote every day, and that one has always been my favorite. And for the first time, I réally understand what he meant. I'm doing this for Lottie, and my four mates, and even if I die, they will remember it.

"Stop crying!" Caroline whispers. Her voice is angry and annoyed, but I'm not sure if it's because the Careers will think I'm easy to kill or because she doesn't want to guide two weak tributes.

I look at the crowd for one more time and I know it's strange, but the looks of pity on their faces makes me happy. For the first time and all those months, they seem to feel something else for me than hate and fear. Some of them even show a ghost of a smile, not because they're happy, but because they want to show me their support.

The tears stop falling and I take Lotties hand, holding on tightly as we are taking into custody. The Peacemakers walk along with us as we enter the Justice Building. I've been there twice, and none of the times brings back good memories.

Caroline is silent, so are Lottie and I. We have three minutes to spend with each of our beloved ones to say goodbye, but I only have my family and she has none. I don't want to get separated, but the Peacemakers conduct me to a room.