Life as the Shapes of Flatland

The Square

The Square

Life as a square is really not too bad. As a square, I am a lawyer and by the rest of the Flatland, the squares are the gentlemen. By my shape, I am usually considered the Upper-Middle class. I live like a normal square, in a pentagonal home pointing northwards in the "suburbs." I have a line segment wife, a pentagonal son and a line segment daughter, who is already 7 inches in length. She has learned her peace-cry and how to turn from right to left so the other polygons can "see" as more than just a point. She reminds so much of her mother sometimes.

For those who want to know how the Regulars live and move along, we use feeling and hearing. As we are only two-dimensional, we can only see vertices and segments. Luckily, over many years through polygonal evolution and vigorous training, our senses of angles has greatly strengthened, so we can tell what kind of a polygon- or circle- is.

As a square, my pentagonal house, along with many others, will always face the North. I know this may seem ridiculous, but every shape and polygon of Flatland will be attracted to the South. I sometimes wonder if this is instinct is natural or if we have some magnet in us. Because of the strong attraction and an indeterminable source of light, we must use our own way of finding North. Luckily for all shapes, rain will fall from the North, so that can guide us from our uncanny yet natural Southern attraction.

Amazingly, the squares are not the only ones with the pentagonal houses. Some may think it is for the Quadrilaterals and only the Quadrilaterals, but this design is by law. We do not have windows, but we do have two entrances: one large entrance on the West for the men and a much smaller one on the East for the line segment female. She is not allowed to use the Western door for it is not polite.

Okay, though life as a square is pretty nice, it gets tiresome after a little while. I've heard rumors coming from the Irregulars. Which irregulars, who other than those stuck-up Rhombuses. Those jackasses think they're so great because we are a "mutation from a parallelogram." Yes, we have some relations from the past of the Parallelograms (I don't know how though, since we're regular), but we did not completely mutate. We technically come from the Isosceles Triangles who finally became regular after much incest. If they wish to start rumors, they should at least get their scientific facts right.

I don't care too much for the Irregulars either. They always complain about being alone and isolated, and how they should be given another chance. My rhombus cousin is in there, and I hear from his supervisor all the time. His supervisor tell me he wants out and he needs a lawyer. They want me as the lawyer. I can't do that at all to be frank. I actually envy his vertex. He doesn't have to deal with trying to find North or having your children fight. He doesn't have to deal with a crying wife because of her public suppression. Doing nothing but being silent with your own thoughts. That sounds like the life to me. Damn the traditional square upbringing.

Hi! This is my first real book I'll be writing. I know this chapter is short, but I am not a great writer. I am writing this to take my own turn on the inhabitants of Flatland, a real essay by Edwin A. Abbott. If you want, you can actually check out the essay, for it's actually pretty good. You can even use your imagination to visit Flatland to enter the Second Dimension. That is, if you want the Sheldon Cooper experience!