Emma 💘

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Almost every day we talked, on and on. Always wanting to hang out but never having the time to. She was my escape from the world around me. Emma always seemed to make my day even though the closest we could get was on FaceTime.
Soon it was December. I have had just gotten back from school and I get a text. It was from Emma. She said, "Wait did I tell you that I was bi yet?"
I respond, "No, but you are still my friend and I support you!"
As life went on I kept on thinking about that day. Christmas came and soon it was 2017. In the second week of January I came out as bi to Emma, and then everyone else I knew, but something wasn't right so in February I came out again as lesbian.
This is where things get complicated. One day I was on FaceTime with Emma and she said "I actually used to like like you a lot." When she said that I moved the camera so she couldn't see me smile. I tried to play it cool and said,
"Umm okay" but now I wish I could have danced with her when nobody else wanted to and I wish I could have figured myself out so I could just kiss her that last time I saw her. But me being me I stayed in the shadows and gave hints, but by that time she already moved on. When I heard the news I cried until it actually hurt to cry. I still am her friend and I'm trying to move on but she won't leave. And I know that she is in my life and hart for a reason. I can't just let go without fully letting her go out of my life. That's why I stay. I'm in love with my best friend and I can't help it. It also doesn't help when she says things like "Fuck me daddy" and when she moans, ON FACETIME! It's such a big turn on okay, at least when she does it. We keep on talking to each other though and eventually it was spring break...