Grey's Anatomy: What If?

-Derek-

Meredith shuddered when she thought about that night.

The night Derek almost died.

...

"I have a patient," she protested, but Miranda Bailey's tone brooked no opposition. She gave Meredith her famous glare as the two walked down the hall to the ICU.

"We've all got patients. But Hunt told Dillard Hospital he'd send over a representative from General and Neuro to inspect and comment on their facilities. You and Shepherd are going, I'll take your patients."

"Derek's on a plane right now," Meredith replied.

"Amelia Shepherd, Meredith. There are two. Nelson can take her patients."

"Fine," Meredith sighed as the reached room three of the ICU. "I need you to monitor her. She's post-op from a-"

Bailey rolled her eyes as she interrupted, already tapping on the device held in her hand. "I've got the chart, Grey. Grab Shepherd and get going."

It was an odd medical center, in Meredith's opinion. Yet she'd seen far worse. While noting the cracks in the plaster covering the walls, she also observed that the facility staffed decent doctors. "This is our ER," said Dillard's chief, leading her down the hall and through a marked door. He had already given Amelia and Meredith a tour, scrubs, and hospital privileges. As the door opened, shouts of "I need betadine!" and "Get me an ultrasound!" threatened to overwhelm Meredith. Doctors were running left and right, a blond one hurtling past her screaming "Incoming!". The chief winced slightly as he said, "As you can see, we're a bit understaffed, but if you wouldn't mind helping, we can manage it."

"No problem," said Amelia from behind Meredith, "What do we have?"

"Accident in the tunnel off of the highway. Three cars and a truck. The car victims are coming in now."

Tying the trauma gown around her, Meredith darted over to one of the bays and began examining a young girl. Other than some minor cuts and bruising, she seemed unharmed. Still, Meredith began a routine workup.

"I'm fine, really," the girl protested, twisting at her yellow hospital gown. She was staring at the bloodied man in the room nearby. "He isn't, though. You have to go save him. It's like he said: It's a beautiful night to save lives."

Ears ringing, Meredith reeled back. "What did you say?"

"That's what he told me when he helped us. He's a doctor. He saved us."

"I- um- excuse me," Meredith stammered. She jumped to her feet and sprinted into the tiny, cramped trauma room, shoving aside the doctors in her path. "Let me see him! Let me see him!" She cried, ignoring the gaping doctors left in her wake. She skidded to a stop at the edge of the table. The man on the table was covered in blood and medical equipment, but still-- it was him. Her head became clouded with memories of exam rooms, bars, and operating rooms, but as his eyes found hers, she snapped into action.

"You. Go get Amelia Shepherd. She's here, visiting. Dark hair. Go!" The mousy haired intern hurried off.

"You," Meredith said, turning to a brown haired resident, "You can go. And you," Meredith turned to the remaining resident, whose red hair gleamed. "What's your name?"

"Me? Um, Penny. I mean, Doctor Blake."

"All right, Dr. Blake," Meredith said, "Let's save my husband."

...

Everything was muted and blurred. Sound. Sight. Feeling. Had he paid attention, Derek might have seen the uneven slant of the trauma room curtains. He might have heard the frantic shouts of desperate residents. He might have felt the needle of the IV slide into the crook of his arm.

He did, however, note that the doctors crowding around him did not know what to do. He needed a head CT, that much was clear. He wanted to shout it out, but he was so far away. He needed many things. He needed to be at Grey+Sloan Memorial Hospital. He needed Mere-

"Let me see him! Let me see him!"

This particular cry made him snap to attention, because he knew that voice. He heard that voice every day. Meredith. Although unable to turn his head due to the collar fixed around his neck, it wasn't long before her face entered her line of sight. She was fixing her blond hair into a ponytail, her blue eyes reflecting her immense fear.

"...Go get Amelia Shepherd!" He heard.

"Derek," she said. He could listen to her voice all day. "I've got this. I've got you. Don't worry. I-"

She was interrupted the annoyed voice of his sister as she slammed the trauma room door behind her. "What, may I ask, was so concerning that you needed to scare an intern out of her wits? I know they call you Medusa back at our place, and I see why, but jeez, I- Derek?"

Amy, Derek thought, darkness closing in around him.

...

The world spun. Time stopped. Because it couldn't be him. It was another man with the hair and eyes that made girls swoon. Another man who had a large scar from the bullet and the heart surgery that had almost claimed his life. It couldn't be her brother.

"Derek?" Amelia gasped, just as his eyes fluttered closed.

The sound of the monitor snapped Amelia out of her trance. "He's in v-fib! Push one of epi and charge the paddles to 200," Meredith shouted. Amelia grabbed the crash cart and readied the paddles. "Charging!" She cried.

"Clear!"

Amelia watched Derek's body roll on the table as the shock went through him. Please, she thought, not again. Ryan. The baby. Not another one.

A steady beeping interrupted her thoughts. "Sinus Tach. We've got a rhythm." Meredith exhaled in relief.

"What the hell happened?" Amelia questioned angrily.

"No idea," said Meredith breathlessly, "he was lying here when I came in. We have to get him to an OR, now."

"Let's go."

...

"It doesn't look like there is going to be any long-term damage," Meredith said, gazing down at Derek's face. She was lying next to him on the narrow hospital bed, having already been transferred to their own hospital. It was the first time in two weeks that he had been completely lucid.

"Derek, what happened? What were you thinking?"

"Meredith," he smiled up at her, blue eyes twinkling,"I saved lives."

When he smiled, it was impossible for her not to do the same. "Guess what?" She smiled, snuggling closer to him.

"What?"

"I'm pregnant."

...

As she held her newborn baby, Meredith shuddered when she thought about that night.

The night Derek almost died.