Body And Soul

Two

"It was worse than all classes with Gilderoy Lockhart, combined."

Hermione gave Harry a stern look while Ron guffawed with laughter.

"It couldn't have been that bad," she insisted.

"It was," Harry said firmly. "He made me snap before we even started. Insinuated that I was trying to get him naked for my own twisted pleasure and then wouldn't let me touch anything but his head. For an hour long appointment."

Harry huffed, raking his hands through his hair in frustration.

"I know I'm good," he said. "But seriously, I don't have enough moves for an hour long head massage."

Ron's laughter had reached that dangerous stage of near silent gasping, tears wetting his cheeks and Hermione's lips finally twitched into an amused smile.

"I guess some things never change," she said. "We've all grown so much since the war, I thought Malfoy would be no exception. Then again, I thought you were better than that too, Harry."

"Me?!" Harry demanded. "What did I do? He's the one who wanted to come make my life hell again."

"You said you snapped at him," Hermione said. "I know you worked on that short fuse of yours, how could you let someone rile you up that much in just a few minutes? It couldn't have been very comfortable coming to you for help. He must be in serious pain."

Harry shrugged, feeling dutifully shamed.

"Or he just came to annoy me." 

Hermione raised a brow at him and he sighed.

"I know, I know, okay? He actually has a few serious injuries but he wouldn't let me work on them. He wasn't comfortable with me touching him. Kind of defeats the purpose of the appointment though," he grumbled.

Harry glanced at Ron, who was finally recovering, eyes red and cheeks flushed. His lips were still twitching with humour though.

"So," Ron said at last. "Did he enjoy his "head" massage?"

He burst into laughter again at the joke he'd clearly been fighting to get out and this time Hermione erupted into giggles with him.

"I hate you both so much," Harry deadpanned.

He'd asked for this, he knew; when you chose to massage people for a living, you were setting yourself up for happy ending jokes for the rest of eternity, but still...

"Guys, this is serious," he said. "He's coming again next week, he's already set an appointment. What do I do?"

"Oh, I'm sure he'll "come" next week," Ron managed to choke out between the laughter. Now Hermione was hitting him as though he'd done something wrong. The fact that she was still laughing hysterically though kind of ruined the effect.

"Okay, never mind," Harry said, pushing to his feet. "I should get going."

"No, Harry wait, we're sorry," Hermione managed to say.

Harry forced a smile and shook his head.

"I have to get some stuff done anyway. I'll see you tomorrow?"

He waved at them both before taking the floo in their sitting room back to his flat.

Yes, he was quite aware that he was moping but Malfoy had that effect on him. And talking about Malfoy "coming" made him feel even more sleazy than he already did.

He couldn't believe he'd actually tried to act like he didn't know the git.

Stepping into his living room, Harry went straight for the kitchen, and straight for the fire whiskey, pouring himself a strong glass.