I Learned Your Pulse

"He j-just k-kept dying!"

Hermione hadn't been able to sleep very well that night; thoughts of Ron, lying dead on the ground next to Fred, kept penetrating her mind right when she was about to fall asleep, and though she knew they were false, they never failed to jerk her right back into alertness. She'd been well aware that Ginny had left the room at some point, but she'd finally managed to drift off before she came back in. So when the very beginnings of sunlight was peeking through the window and she was awakened, she thought to ask Ginny where she'd gone. But Ginny either hadn't returned, or had left again. Hermione gently got out of bed, wincing as her feet touched the ground and the coldness stung her heels. Everyone was sleeping around her. Some people slept on their sides, some people slept on their backs, some on their stomachs; some snored, some were silent, some had delicate flutterings of breaths. Hermione grinned at the sight of everyone so peaceful, marvelling that they'd all made it through the night without a nightmare from anyone.

But her glad thoughts were punctured when Alicia Spinnet sat straight up and screamed.

Hermione was already out of bed, so she was the first to reach Alicia's side. Alicia was panting after using so much air for her scream. But her scream had been one of terror, but reluctant admittance; she'd screamed as if already beaten. That scared Hermione more than a scream of failure, and that scared her more than the scream itself. But she kneeled by Alicia's bed and took her hand.

"Alicia?" she asked. "What's wrong?"

"He j-just kept d-dying," Alicia said, stuttering as she tried not to sob. "He j-just k-kept dying!"

Hermione squeezed her hand as the girls around them shouted various 'what happened?' and 'what's wrong?'s. "Who did?" she asked, making her voice soothing.

"P-professor L-lupin..."

Hermione's heart stuttered. "You saw him die?" she asked quietly.

Alicia nodded, and the sobs broke free of her chest, and she dropped her head into her free hand, weeping loudly. Hermione felt like joinging her. She'd never been close to Alicia, really, but seeing someone in such a vulnerable state tended to make her compassionate towards them.

the door flew open and Ginny flew through it. "Who screamed?" she demanded, but then saw the crowd surrounding Alicia and Hermione, and pushed through it, immediately followed by Harry, who appreared right behind her, his face clearly very worried.

Ginny knelt on Alicia's other side. "Alicia, it's okay," she soothed.

Alicia shook her head through her tears. "At first, D-dolohov j-just sent st-stunning spells his way, b-but then Y-yaxley c-cursed him from b-behind, and th-then T-tonks c-came and g-got so angry sh-she tr-tried to use C-crucio, b-but Amycus C-carrow u-used Avada Kedavra and she f-fell d-down b-beside him..."

Hermione ooked to Harry and Ginny, who looked confused, but just as horrified as she felt. "Lupin," she squeaked to them.

Their confusion vanished, leaving just horror behind.

"And th-they'd j-just had a s-son!" wailed Alicia.

At this, Harry intervened.

"Yes, they'd just had a son," Harry said firmly, trying to hide his look of disgust at Dolohov, Yaxley and Amycus Carrow. "And he will have a good, loving childhood with his mother and godfather."

"Who's his g-godfather?"

"Me."

Alicia hiccupped and stopped sobbing, but tears still ran down her face.

"I knew Lupin, Alicia," Harry whispered. "He wouldn't have been happy here, among us, being what he was. He saw himself as a problem, as a danger. He saw himself as something revolting, like a blotch of black on a white canvas; something that should be removed."